#eevblog - 2019-12-22 - AustNet Archive Project

// #eevblog — 2019-12-22

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00:47 <Halcyon> Meanwhile, I'm uploading Hogan's Heroes to his server :P
00:57 <Ysjoelfir> Quite good, a bit tired. Was watching movies with SWMBO until 6 in the night. I already noticed Ampera is quite... excited XD
01:24 <Ysjoelfir> btw, SWMBO can read the chat - watching movies again on the second monitor where also IRC is xD
01:50 <Ysjoelfir> nice, i liked Hogans Heroes
02:53 <AndrevS> I've just posted my second part of my 32F103 comparison.
04:25 <Halcyon> Hellow Mrs. Ysjoelfir
04:27 <Halcyon> -w
04:53 <Halcyon> I've been out for dinner and quite a few wines. Forgive my typing.
06:15 <Ysjoelfir> She says hi. And that it's to small for her to read on the big TV. Don't trust her :P
06:22 <Ysjoelfir> You seem to like wine :D
06:34 <Halcyon> Have you tried Australian reds?
07:18 <Ysjoelfir> No, is it good?
07:29 <Halcyon> Much better than German whites
07:55 <Halcyon> One day, I may send you a bottle.
08:55 <Ysjoelfir> Than I will send you a Leberkäse ;)
09:19 <Halcyon> How will that go in the post?
09:39 <Ysjoelfir> I'm pretty sure it won't, sadly
09:53 <Halcyon> Wine shall survive
10:06 <Halcyon> Ampera: 13.7 GB to go
12:10 <Ysjoelfir> Depends on the Postman
13:28 <Halcyon> :)
13:36 <steve30> hi Halcyon
13:53 <Halcyon> Hey Steve
13:56 <Halcyon> I'm tipsy
14:31 <steve30> eevblog time
14:32 <EEVBlog> Ah shoot, Doc! We've ended up at 00:14 Sydney time.
14:48 <Halcyon> I have been out for tapas :)
16:18 <steve30> I slept well but got woken up by next door but one's dogs :(
18:14 <Halcyon> Oh no
21:37 <steve30> I've been looking at draytek routers on ebay
28:42 Quit: steve30 ([email protected]) Quit: <Baljem> steve30: by the way, I had the most bizarre dream the other day that someone came in here and seriously flipped their shit over your quit message and why aren't the ops /doing/ something about it
29:40 Join: steve30 ([email protected]) to #EEVblog
29:40 Mode: (by ChanOP) +o steve30
29:56 * steve30 waves from the ThinkPad
31:40 <Ysjoelfir> wb steve30 :)
32:45 Join: steve31 ([email protected]) to #EEVblog
34:06 Quit: steve30 ([email protected]) Ping timeout: 121 seconds
34:08 <steve31> I'm going to give Tomato a go
49:35 <steve31> hmm,this seems nice
58:06 <Ysjoelfir> I like Tomatos :)
13:22 <steve31> coffee time
45:18 Quit: steve31 ([email protected]) Quit: This user has performed an illegal operation and will be shut down.
51:54 Join: steve30 ([email protected]) to #EEVblog
55:04 Join: steve30000 ([email protected]) to #EEVblog
58:20 Quit: steve30 ([email protected]) Ping timeout: 121 seconds
59:12 <steve30000> I installed 'Tomato by Shibby'
59:17 <steve30000> Seems to do everything I want it to
59:21 Nick: steve30000 is now known as steve30
02:04 Join: steve30000 ([email protected]) to #EEVblog
03:08 Quit: steve30000 ([email protected]) Quit: <Baljem> steve30: by the way, I had the most bizarre dream the other day that someone came in here and seriously flipped their shit over your quit message and why aren't the ops /doing/ something about it
04:22 Quit: steve30 ([email protected]) Ping timeout: 121 seconds
12:00 Join: steve30 ([email protected]) to #EEVblog
21:35 <Ysjoelfir> yay.. finished one "horror movie" (which was suprisingly good), now SWMBO decided that we have to watch the next bad horror movie x.x xD
22:30 <steve30> :/
25:32 <Ysjoelfir> nah, it's no problem :) I play games on the first monitor and the movie runs on the second one and streams to the tv. so i can lough about the illogical things in the movies while enjoying my game^^
26:08 <Ysjoelfir> also, SWMBO is happy, what is the most important :)
33:46 Join: Nothing\ ([email protected]) to #EEVblog
39:06 <Nothing\> managed to get a good microscope shot of this one IC i have
39:08 <Nothing\> https://i.imgur.com/B8zoGs8.jpg
39:38 <Nothing\> those pocket microscopes are pretty good alternatives to more expensive metalography microscopes where the lightsource is from above rather than below
40:07 <Nothing\> was a photodetector IC so it already had a clear window over the die
41:04 <Nothing\> kinda disappointing cuz it looks like all i can see is the metal layer, i can't discern any P or N layers like on pictures from ken shiriff
46:44 * Ampera sneezes at Nothing\ 
47:04 <Nothing\> hey Ampera how goes it?
47:15 <Ampera> just woke up
47:23 <Ampera> how about you
47:40 <Nothing\> right on, i've been up for a couple of hours, saturday's my clinic day so i try to beat the morning rush, otherwise i'd sleep in past noon
47:49 <Nothing\> didn't get to bed until 4am
48:14 <Nothing\> things are good though, nice and uneventful, just the way i like it
49:25 <Ampera> I've been listening to nothing but doo-wop recently
49:43 <Nothing\> lol that's an odd choice, but i can understand that
49:56 <Nothing\> i enjoy indian music once in a while, or at least i did when i listened to music
49:56 <Ampera> I love doo-wop, it's one of my favourite genres
50:38 <Nothing\> i can't listen to music anymore cuz when i do it gets stuck in my head for literally weeks or months on end, just constant ad nauseum repetition of the same 5-10 second segment of whatever songs i hear. it's torture
50:56 <Nothing\> which sucks cuz i like music, i even played piano with a great deal of enjoyment for some years, guitar too
51:20 <Ampera> I solve that by listening to the same songs over and over again so much that they become stale.
51:21 <Nothing\> but that's just right out on account of there's enough repetition with that
52:10 <Nothing\> that just makes it worse with me, the first time i noticed it i'd been playing river city ransom on the NES with my brother for a few days and the main theme got stuck in my head for 6 weeks cuz it just plays over and over again in the game
52:37 <Nothing\> it's one of those things too where the more i try to resist it, the worse it gets, so i just have to let it do its thing
52:55 <Nothing\> it's weird, it's almost like a system idle process for my brain, like it only does it when i'm not actively thinking about anything else
53:20 <Nothing\> or like the mental equivalent of psychomotor agitation, like when you bounce your knee up and down, which i do almost constantly
53:45 <Ampera> Well I finished school.
54:05 <Nothing\> actually, i worked out that i bounce my knee up and down around 150,000 times a day, +/- 50k
54:13 <Nothing\> oh, that's awesome, no second semester for the year?
54:21 <Ampera> No, I'm dropping out.
54:26 <Nothing\> did you finish finish? or ah i see
54:28 <Ampera> school is for NERDS
54:42 <Nothing\> lol well i hope your plan works out for you
55:08 <Nothing\> i'll be honest, i dropped out in grade 9 and never really regretted it from a life point of view, like it never got in the way of anything
55:19 <Nothing\> but now that i start explaining this, i think i've already told you this before
55:38 <Ampera> My life is a constant struggle of, I'll find out if I'm going to be alright months, maybe years from now
56:01 <Ampera> and all I have to do is sit and stew while particularly important days inch closer.
56:27 <Nothing\> i hate that, i've been doing that re: my sentencing hearing in february
56:38 <Nothing\> waiting is one of my least favourite things to do
57:07 <Ampera> Particularly when you're suffering because of it.
57:08 <Nothing\> but i've come to discover that the thoughts you get of what might happen, the ones that cause anxiety, are usually worse than what the reality turns out to be
57:33 <Ampera> For me, time works incredibly strange.
57:47 <Nothing\> time perception, or chronoception as i call it, is a weird thing
57:47 <Ampera> My mom suggested I read Slaughterhouse Five, and I could see why.
58:02 <Ampera> My mind quite literally will snap into alternate realities of my own creation.
58:05 Quit: AndrevS ([email protected]) Connection closed
58:13 <Nothing\> so it goes
58:16 <Nothing\> :P
58:19 <Ampera> Beyond simple daydreams, I will see and feel what I imagine, as if my mind is trying as desperately as it can to rip itself away
58:20 <Ampera> lol
58:24 <Ampera> so it goes
58:30 <Nothing\> i loved slaughterhouse five, i'd totally read it again
58:38 <Nothing\> you wanna hear something funny about the first time i read it
58:45 <Ampera> always
59:15 <Nothing\> first time i read it was on audiobook on my phone, but it was stuck on random play, but because of the disjointed chronology of the book, i had no clue it was playing the chapters in random order until the book suddenly ended half way through
59:42 <Ampera> lol
59:50 <Ampera> that may be the best way to enjoy that book.
00:02 <Nothing\> honestly i think it was, except for the fact that i missed a big chunk of it
00:14 <Ampera> no the key is you keep going after the ending
00:23 <Nothing\> haha that's what i was thinking
00:29 <Nothing\> man, i should totally read that again
00:51 <Nothing\> you should look into philip k dick if you like vonnegut, i think pkd's my favourite sci-fi author
01:09 <Ampera> I haven't read anything since this semester, since I was forced to
01:12 <Ampera> and want to get back into it
01:16 <Nothing\> he has a lot of books that make you question whether reality is real or not, which is one of my favourite themes in sci-fi
01:21 <Ampera> but I have a backlog of probably a hundred bucks I "totally need to read"
01:38 <Nothing\> you should add UBIK to that list, that's a good PKD one to start off with
01:41 <Ampera> I do like abstract, but I like /really/ abstract.
02:09 <Nothing\> or if you want something really heavy and disjointed, VALIS is probably my favorite from him in that line
02:10 <Ampera> I'd love a book where it doesn't just play with reality, but creates its new, completely foreign reality, jabberwocky style
02:32 <Nothing\> that sounds about right for PKD
02:39 <Ampera> at the end of the day though, my mind is already abstract and disjointed enough, so like you with music, it might not be a great addition.
02:44 <Nothing\> well, maybe not quite
02:50 <Nothing\> i imagine you mean like a fantasy motif?
03:10 <Ampera> no I mean you could redefine every single rule of common conventions of writing, reality and the universe.
03:18 <Nothing\> ah i gotcha
03:29 <Ampera> You wouldn't know who, but Timotainment kinda abstract
03:41 <Ampera> where it's just things that happen, and it doesn't make sense, but also yes.
03:42 <Nothing\> yeah i'm not familiar
04:35 <Nothing\> but yeah i always had trouble actually reading books cuz i have bad ADD, so any time i read i end up getting distracted and having to bring my attention back to it literally every minute or two, sometimes more frequently
04:53 <Ampera> I find my mind simply hates being me, and escapes into other realities such that, even if for a moment, it can not be me.
04:55 <Nothing\> the only way i've been able to "read" anything is on audiobook while i'm going for a walk, which is a necessity lest i fall asleep
05:16 <Nothing\> you know for some reason ever since i was a kid i've felt like this reality isn't true reality
05:16 <Ampera> I swear I wake up in mental pain every day, and the more stress I have, the more I almost dissociate.
05:33 <Ampera> I have a question. It's a very strange sensation that I can force myself into feeling
05:37 <Nothing\> back when i was a kid i thought it was some sort of incredibly vivid dream i was having as an old man, possibly on my death bed
05:48 <Ampera> when you read a book, imagine a reality, or simply have a suspension of belief
05:53 <Ampera> you can always go one tier up to the "real" world
06:03 <Ampera> but I've been able to attempt to go one step up from the real world, if that makes any sense
06:30 <Ampera> in that I get a strange pang of what I can only describe as existential panic when I understand that there is no reality above this one
06:40 <Nothing\> but i've since explored many different possibilities for it, like the many worlds interpretation of quantum mechanics, the matrix type thing where we're in a computer simulation, or something more like jacob's ladder where it's a dream or vision i'm having at the moment of death etc
06:44 <Ampera> as if it's a floor I'm supposed to be standing on that doesn't exist, or some power to escape my reality I can't use.
07:05 <Ampera> My belief is simple. Our minds are our own, and we can define the rules of the universe however we wish.
07:14 <Nothing\> it's always caused me more excitement and fascination than panic and anxiety
07:31 <Ampera> What others consider laws of principle I consider as mailable as opinion.
07:43 <Ampera> *malleable
08:01 <Ampera> Well it goes in line with me not wanting to be here
08:19 <Ampera> My mind tries to escape the prison of my mind, and kinda gets frustrated that it can't.
08:22 <Nothing\> yeah i can relate to that, i definitely dislike being here
08:30 <Nothing\> see, that's why i turned to drugs
08:41 <Ampera> it's almost like even within an open party of people, I'm always in a form of solitary confinement.
09:02 <Ampera> My only respite has been to simply exist with that pain, but the only solution I can find is suicide.
09:13 <Nothing\> i used to use one drug very often called dxm, which is a dissociative, so it sort of separates your mind from your physical experience and allows you to live a whole new reality
09:19 <Ampera> It's truly the only action I can see that would provide a chance at escaping my reality, even if it's void I go to.
09:53 <Nothing\> like it's not an immersive reality, not always anyways, but i lived in a world of gods and spirit entities, a higher existence on the astral plane
10:20 <Nothing\> if i wanted, i could close my eyes and have immersive experiences of going to other realities and interacting with these beings
10:34 <Nothing\> but of course, living in that sort of state makes one batshit insane
10:49 <Nothing\> especially when you do it on a daily basis
10:55 <Ampera> well yes
10:59 <Ampera> that's what I'm talking about
11:05 <Nothing\> i wound up in a psych ward more than once thanks to it, and many of my friends did as well
11:14 <Ampera> the thing is I can't stop, my life is so fucking awful I have no other escape but to exist somewhere else
11:35 <Nothing\> you do have an escape though, you can form a better life for yourself
11:41 <Nothing\> or try to at least anyways
11:47 <Ampera> No I can't, because I am unique in my existential pain.
12:00 <Nothing\> but see, i came to the realization the other day that we are destined to suffer
12:00 <Ampera> Most of it comes from me being male, as stupid as it is.
12:07 <Ampera> and I can't change that, no matter how hard I try
12:10 <Nothing\> i don't think that's stupid at all
12:14 <Ampera> we don't physically have the technology
12:25 <Ampera> Laugh or cry, Nothing\, I do both.
12:26 <Nothing\> i may not understand it, but i know it's a very real problem which causes you very real suffering
13:10 <Ampera> It genuinely feels like I'm a mistake, some absolute aberration of whatever god that may exist.
13:18 <Nothing\> but re the suffering, i realized even if one builds up a good life for themselves and becomes successful, whatever that may be to them, life is such that that success and wellbeing will inevitably decay into a state of sufferingg
13:44 <Nothing\> for instance, say a person goes to school, gets a degree, gets a good job, gets married, has kids, etc
13:52 <Ampera> The issue is I can't do that.
14:00 <Nothing\> inevitably he will become too infirm to work, either physically or mentally
14:01 <Ampera> I can't experience love or compassion for others as a male.
14:11 <Ampera> even if I want to
14:15 <Nothing\> his wife and him will inevitably have to part ways, be it through divorce or death
14:39 <Nothing\> his body will become unhealthy through the ravages of age and he will experience chronic pain and debilitating disease
14:56 <Nothing\> his children will get their own lives with their own families and stop seeing him as often
15:01 <Nothing\> you know, things lilke that
15:20 <Nothing\> and every one of those things, except maybe the children moving on is a 100% guarantee
15:26 <Nothing\> unless he dies before it happens
15:30 <Ampera> I think my issue with time is the present lasts forever.
15:48 <Nothing\> but that's just one example of how we're destined to move towards a state of suffering
16:00 <Nothing\> we can try to delay it, we can try to mitigate it, but it always comes
16:17 <Ampera> That makes me think of a story I read last night, the context unimportant, but the message in essence, those who die young are lucky
16:23 <Ampera> they don't have to deal with life
16:35 <Nothing\> i've become interested in buddhism since realizing that, because one of the primary teachings of the buddha is that existence is suffering
16:59 <Nothing\> we think that, that the ones who die are lucky, but who's to say the afterlife isn't worse than this place?
17:09 <Nothing\> it's just as likely to be worse as it is to be better
17:13 <Ampera> There's nothing to say it's anything
17:17 <Ampera> the appeal is that it's different
17:22 <Ampera> it's a different type of suffering
17:26 <Nothing\> indeed, but different isn't always good
17:27 <Ampera> or maybe none at all
17:47 <Ampera> When all that one wants is to be someone or something else
17:47 <Nothing\> i know what you mean though, they say novelty is one of the things which makes people happiest of all
17:49 <Ampera> different is good
17:51 <Nothing\> they being psychologists
17:53 <Ampera> even if for the worse
18:09 <Ampera> I find myself occasionally having to restrain myself from doing stupid things, like breaking the law in insane ways
18:22 <Nothing\> yeah don't do that, believe me i've been there
18:24 <Ampera> even hurting people, though me and my own mind would never want to do so
18:34 <Ampera> simply because that would be a different sort of suffering
18:45 <Nothing\> self harm, drug use, stuff i do out of desperation to relieve my suffering or suffer in some different way
19:04 <Ampera> I admire within myself a sense of insane strength that I have not attempted anything of the sort, or even come close.
19:06 <Nothing\> but over the years i did that stuff i came to realize it never makes anything better, never makes me feel better, it only adds more to feel bad about in the end
19:12 <Ampera> I have no vices but my own mind.
19:20 <Nothing\> dude, i admire the hell out of that aspect of you
19:34 <Ampera> don't
19:36 <Nothing\> i'm very impressed you haven't given in to such urges
19:45 <Ampera> being locked into my own mind is a hell within its own right
20:07 <Ampera> suffering between peers is incomparable, but within my own mind, I would not wish my own type of suffering on anyone
20:32 <Nothing\> no seriously man, i've talked to hundreds, maybe thousands of people with mental health problems, at least a dozen of them being trans though i never went into much detail about that, but my point is, every single one of them abused drugs in an attempt to escape
20:53 <Nothing\> you're literally the only person i've come across in 20 years of talking to such people who hasn't succumbed to such desires
21:00 <Ampera> I've never sought them out, and I've never been exposed to them.
21:16 <Nothing\> for the love of god please keep it that way
21:17 <Ampera> I haven't even seen illicit drugs in their physical form, never been offered them, never knew where to get them.
21:20 <Ampera> lol
21:22 <Ampera> I believe you
21:33 <Nothing\> as bad as things are, drugs make things infinitely worse
21:39 <Ampera> I am very much like the cold war, no matter how close I get to total disaster, I never reach it.
21:48 <Nothing\> your problems still remain, but end up worse than they started
21:53 <coppice_> Nothing\: most of the drugs are like using a hammer to crack a nut
21:54 <Nothing\> and you also have new problems to boot
22:03 <Ampera> There are only two solutions to my problems.
22:12 <Ampera> Death or finding a way to turn an apple into an orange.
22:55 <Nothing\> coppice_: i was using a similar analogy last night when talking about medicinal marijuana, how it contains so many active compounds, but most conditions people use it to treat probably only require one of those compounds, so using cannabis medicinally is like using a nuke to kill one person
23:29 <Nothing\> and the best course of action we can take is to research which compounds are good for treating which diseases and then isolating and purfiying them into pharmaceutical products
23:53 <coppice_> the effects of marijuana seem much more subdued that the effects of most treatments for mental health issues
24:07 <Nothing\> definitely, although it's not without its side effects
24:22 <Nothing\> i had to stop smoking cannabis myself because it was causing me a great deal of anxiety/panic attacks
24:29 <Ampera> It all comes down to the question of if we should let people harm themselves
24:32 <Nothing\> not to mention i was hacking up black crap every day
24:41 <Ampera> to which the obvious answer is always, no matter how, people will always harm themselves.
24:52 <Ampera> Even the cleanest person will find a way to do it in order to find themselves rid of pain.
25:19 <Nothing\> Ampera: i think people should be free to harm themselves if they want, but they should also be educated on the pros and cons of such behavior as a lot of them don't have realistic notions of what the implications of such behavior would be
25:32 <Ampera> That's a funny paradox.
25:40 <Ampera> Give a person a gun and tell him why he shouldn't shoot it.
25:51 <coppice_> another important question is about the morality of using substances which don't fix your problem, but just turn you into somebody else
25:56 <Nothing\> well that's more enabling than allowing them to do it if they want
26:16 <Nothing\> coppice_: aye, and that person inevitably has worse problems than the one you were before
27:12 <coppice_> a fix for the medical profession is something that makes their problem go away, not yours
27:29 <Nothing\> benzodiazepines like ativan, xanax or valium are a good example, i've seen so many people get prescriptions for such drugs to treat their anxiety only to become physically dependant on them, so when they try to stop taking it they end up with anxiety issues which are many times worse than what they started with
28:23 <Nothing\> i had the same thing, i was taking xanax for several years, just as needed, not on a daily basis, so thankfully i never became physically dependant on it, but even so, after i stopped taking it i wound up developing a panic disorder for about half a year, which i didn't have before i started it
28:38 <Nothing\> i had anxiety issues, but i never actually had a full blown panic attack until i started taking benzos
29:14 <Ampera> I've never taken a drug for any of this, and I am absolutely distrustful of any that would be offered to me.
29:28 <Ampera> I've refused every option for "medical" treatment of my problems given to me, even down to antidepressants.
29:46 <Ampera> Particularly because I don't believe I'm depressed, I have highs and lows, not manic ones, but still highs and lows.
30:08 <Ampera> I can be alright for time, and not feel the pressure of my problems, some could almost describe me as being happy on occasion
30:17 <Ampera> then I have points like right now where my pain gets to me.
30:22 <Nothing\> my brother wasn't as lucky, he was on nitrazepam for sleep for some years and his doctor suddenly took him off of it and he had a full blown psychotic episode, saying stuff like we were in the witness protection program as kids because my mom's bf, who she didn't even know when we were kids, was in the mob, and going on about 50 foot shadows stalking him and seeing robotic DC-10s dropping bombs from the sky
30:35 <Nothing\> wound up in a psych ward for a week while he was coming off of it
31:06 <Ampera> My grandfather would have stories to match yours, no doubt.
31:23 <Ampera> Family of broken minds I have, with not even the best off being spared.
31:42 <Ampera> They have what I like to consider nicer mental disorders.
31:51 <Ampera> They genuinely do have drugs that actually do work for them.
31:52 <rust_collector> hey people
31:55 <Nothing\> Ampera: benzos can be very effective for short term support of an anxiety disorder, but all of these SSRI/SNRI and other serotonergic antidepressants like zoloft, paxil, effexor, prozac etc seem like they're more likely to cause you more problems and help you with very few, if any
32:01 <Nothing\> heya rust_collector how goes it?
32:06 <Ampera> That's the thing.
32:10 <rust_collector> eh, could be worse
32:14 <Ampera> My pain comes from a physical problem I can point a finger at and blame.
32:19 <Ampera> yeah he could be me :P
32:23 <Nothing\> rust_collector: indeed, and i thank god every day that it isn't
32:29 <Ampera> I can't see how a pill will solve that.
32:34 <rust_collector> Not sure I could be you ampera
32:50 <Ampera> Not even hormones or whatever slurry of bullshit the retarded fucking therapists running transgender crap want to feed me.
32:53 <Nothing\> Ampera: see that's one upshot to your situation, you can at least pinpoint the cause of your suffering, where a lot of people, myself included, have no idea why we're so screwed up
33:04 <Nothing\> but i often ask myself "would it change anything if i knew?"
33:16 <Ampera> The solution, within the grand scheme of the universe, is laughably simple too.
33:22 <Ampera> Simply change the chemical composition of my body.
33:32 <Ampera> It's an grand imbalance like any other.
34:00 <Nothing\> my one friend had mental health and drug problems for years and eventually it came out that when he was maybe 2 or 3, his mom's bf sexually abused him and did something to cause a great deal of damage to his penis, which required surgery to repair
34:06 <Ampera> but there's no doctor on the planet with the technology to do that, and I'm left with the caveman's pointed rock and dotted lines drawn around my body.
34:41 <Ampera> What's strange about me is my childhood was perfectly fine and normal, yet I'm still completely fucked up.
34:52 <Nothing\> yeah mine was relatively fine
35:20 <Ampera> Remember, Nothing\, you're at a point in time I'm not at.
35:27 <Ampera> There's still plenty of time for me to fuck shit up somehow.
35:58 <Ampera> I think what gave me the most impact from Slaughterhouse Five was the term, so it goes.
35:58 Join: RicBent ([email protected]) to #EEVblog
35:58 <Nothing\> well, i mean i was beaten from time to time, and psychologically abused by pretty much everyone i knew and was supposed to trust, but my upbringing was normal, typical middle class house, decent school, had friends, i wasn't unpopular, though i was bullied quite a lot
36:12 <Ampera> That's the best phrase ever invented, since that describes all of life's calamities.
36:14 <Ampera> So it goes.
36:15 <Nothing\> actually i suspect the constant psychological abuse destroyed my self esteem
36:28 <Ampera> I had none of that.
36:50 <Ampera> I've never been in a fight in my life, I've never broken a bone, I've been to the hospital twice in my life for incredibly minor things.
36:54 <Nothing\> what's really weird though is i'm missing some huge chunks of my childhood
36:57 <Ampera> Nobody's abused me, nobody's harassed me
37:09 <Nothing\> like i don't even remember what the inside of my house i lived in up until i was 6 or 7 looked like
37:14 <Ampera> My recent past is an absolute fucking blur.
37:20 <Nothing\> but for some reaosn i can remember what my best friend's house at the time looked like
37:27 <Ampera> Nothing\, that's just how memory works.
37:40 <Nothing\> that's what i figured
37:42 <Ampera> What you do and do not remember is shaped by your impressions of it.
37:43 Part: RicBent ([email protected]) from #EEVblog
37:57 <Ampera> but the rules as to what does and does not make the grade is almost arbitrary.
38:05 <Nothing\> but when i talk to people about my childhood, like my cousin, he's able to tell me all of these stories about stuff we did, while i can't remember a single thing
38:13 <Nothing\> haha i know
38:33 <Nothing\> i was thinking about that the other day, for some reason i remember certain things with amazing accuracy, but it's completely random
38:40 <Ampera> Whenever I think of my past I think I wish I could have experienced it as a female.
38:41 Join: RicBent ([email protected]) to #EEVblog
38:56 <Ampera> It feels like every day I breathe is a day robbed from the existence I should be having.
39:10 <Nothing\> like my mom was talking about when we bumped into one of her coworkers about a year ago and i was able to tell her where we ran into him, what we were doing, what the weather was like, etc
39:29 <Nothing\> it made me wonder what it was about that experience that made me remember it with such detail
39:47 <Ampera> The memories I have of my early early childhood are very strange.
39:49 <Nothing\> brbpee
40:06 <Ampera> One of my strongest memories are of there being a game of Bookworm running on my mom's computer, in a darkened room.
40:23 <Ampera> I wanted very much to play it but I was too nervous to ask her for whatever reason.
43:20 <Nothing\> gah, stupid beetus making me pee constantly
43:34 <Ampera> Diabetes has always been a very strange condition to me.
43:44 <Ampera> You pee constantly, can't do sugar, but also yes, and your limbs may or may not fall off.
44:00 <Nothing\> your eyes also deteriorate
44:11 <Nothing\> actually it's like it causes your whole body to slowly decay
44:20 <rust_collector> that is age
44:38 <Nothing\> yeah, but this is much faster and more ravaging than just age
44:45 <Ampera> All I want is a solution, man.
44:53 <Ampera> I just want to be able to pick out a thing I can do that can make it better.
44:56 <Ampera> But I have absolutely nothing.
44:57 <coppice_> I wonder how much the eye degradation issue has been reduced by modern electronics?
45:43 <Nothing\> your nerves get damaged, circulation is impaired, you get necrotic spots on your extremities, your eyes deteriorate until you're blind, your kidney function becomes impaired, you get heart disease, to name a few of the fun things
45:53 <Nothing\> coppice_: how do you mean?
45:58 <Ampera> I only have a question, is transitioning simply another drug. Is it another promised miracle that will only make things worse
46:17 <Ampera> and to make it more complicated, the only thing people ever do is lie and deceive people to do or not to do.
46:21 <coppice_> cheap BGMs have allowed diabetics to keep much better control of their insulin
46:28 <Nothing\> Ampera: from the trans people i've spoken to, it seemed to make them feel better
46:32 <Ampera> nobody cares about the people who suffer.
46:34 Quit: Chipguy ([email protected]) Ping timeout: 121 seconds
47:01 <Ampera> The one thing I have taken the most advantage and pleasure within my life is the fact that I am one of the strangest people to ever exist.
47:08 Join: Chipguy ([email protected]) to #EEVblog
47:22 <Ampera> So of course that cannae work
47:23 <Nothing\> coppice_: : ah that, actually nilered made a great video recently about the history and chemistry of blood glucose testing and it seems like it definitely helps with treatement, not just based on the video but in general i mean
47:39 <coppice_> the suicide rate among trans people is horrifying, and it doesn't seem to improve if they transition
47:55 <Ampera> coppice_, no because the people who do the transitioning don't care about the people they transition.
47:57 <Nothing\> coppice_: compared to how fickle and inaccurate previous tests were, blood glucose testing is much more widely available
48:21 <Ampera> There's no worry about if it's good for them, there's not worry if what they're doing is helping their situation, and all concerns are treated as anxieties not genuine worries.
48:45 <Ampera> The worst part is absolutely nobody is willing to tell someone EVER that they do not have gender dysphoria
49:06 <Ampera> which means so many of the people who get transitioned simply don't have it, since it's such a fucking miracle cure.
49:14 <coppice_> Nothing\: people used to always get very accurate tests, because they were always from a lab. the cheap BGMs, even if they are less accurate, are far more help, because the tests can be so frequent
49:38 <Ampera> Particularly when you have shit like UK transgender clinics shoving prepubescents in and out the door like it's a slaughterhouse
49:49 <coppice_> Ampera: that's a very recent thing. transitioning used to be taken much more seriously
50:09 <Ampera> At the end of the day, transitioning won't make me female.
50:19 <Ampera> It will simply put enough lipstick on a pig to call it a woman.
50:44 <Ampera> Yet, like it or not, it's one of my few options, and all I'm left to do is permanently mull over if it's a good one.
51:08 <Nothing\> coppice_: ah, i was referring more to tests when blood glucose testing was first being done, i believe in the 19th century some time using solutions of copper sulphate and sodium/potassium hydroxide, among other things depending on the method
51:18 <Ampera> For me the pain is with other people. I hate the idea that transitioning will make other people uncomfortable with me.
51:36 <Nothing\> it was a mostly qualitative test where the final color of the solution indicated the amount of glucose present
51:48 <Nothing\> and for the first tests, other things could cause false positives
52:12 <Ampera> The people who take "gender" to an extreme and do shit like exhibitionism and hyperfeminization shit and then try to pass that off as good make that even worse.
52:38 <Ampera> Not to mention the people who don't take transitioning and will slam fucking tables if people don't catcall their 500 pound ass in some shitty skirt.
53:22 <Ampera> I've been called a boomer more times than once, and I'm starting to think it might be true, because even I think I sound like a crotchety old cunt in a chair complaining about the world
53:50 <Nothing\> coppice_: lemme ask you, i've been trying to figure out impedance lately and i'm kind of confused about it, like one formula i got for impedance is sqrt(Xc/R) which i assume gives you Z, or impedance, but it seems to just be the real part of the complex number
54:09 <Ampera> That's how I deal with my problems really. I get angry, complain, rant, it's my screaming, loud and in the open, at god.
54:49 <Ampera> Another issue with transitioning is voice, which is one of the most horrific handicaps I'd have to doing it, since even though I have a strong and versatile voice, it's still just not the same
54:52 <Ampera> no matter what I do.
55:35 <Nothing\> coppice_: but i always took impedance to be the combination of resistance and reactance as a complex number, that is R+Xcj
55:44 <coppice_> Nothing\: sqrt(Xc/R) is the magnitude of the complex number. Its just pythagoras being applied
56:03 <Nothing\> right, i figured that much out
56:13 <Nothing\> so the impedance is the complex number as a whole then?
56:20 <Nothing\> impedance being Z
56:50 <Nothing\> i guess that makes sense now that i think about it
57:22 <coppice_> to me impedance is always a complex quality. some people hate complex quantities so much they effectively deny their existance :)
57:30 <Nothing\> i came across another formula while studying voltage dividers last night, it's just Xc/R, what would you call that?
57:59 <Nothing\> coppice_: gauss proposed that imaginary numbers should be called lateral numbers, i really wish that convention took
59:47 <Nothing\> i didn't stay in school long enough to get to imaginary/complex numbers, but i could see a lot of kids being like "pfft well if they're imaginary, why should i bother learning them?"
00:01 <Ampera> It's a nice and toasty 16 outside.
00:33 <Nothing\> i didn't learn about them until i got into EE, which i think learning about math in the context of EE, with practical applications for the math made it a lot easier for me to learn, especially on an intuitive level
00:52 <Nothing\> Ampera: here it's cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey
01:02 <Ampera> Yeah 16 is rather cold
01:03 <Ampera> press f
01:14 <Nothing\> oh 16f lol i was thinking c
01:28 <coppice_> Nothing\: there is a sense of realness in the real part of impedance that the imaginary part doesn't have - the real part makes things hot
01:33 <Nothing\> yeah you win, it's only -2c here like 28f i think
02:22 <coppice_> I don't care about fahrenheit. What's the F'in C?
02:58 <Nothing\> but yeah once i realized all these impedance formulas were just trig, it all clicked into place and made a lot more sense
03:26 <Nothing\> plus it gave me a great opportunity to learn trig beyond soh cah toa
03:50 <Ampera> Anyways, there's nothing I can do, at least not now. My only prediction is I'll either suffer for the rest of my life, or one day break, and spiral into a transition that may or may not fix my problem
04:00 <Ampera> and may or may not leave me so worse off I'll end up killing myself
04:06 <Ampera> or maybe I'll just kill myself anyways, that's always nice
04:45 <Nothing\> like figuring out tan^-1(Xc/R) made me realize how you can use inverse trig functions in a practical manner, like finding unknown angles in a triangle
05:02 <Nothing\> Ampera: aw don't talk like that
05:16 <Nothing\> as long as you're alive, there's always hope that things can get better
05:18 <Ampera> If I do not speak then it remains in my mind
05:30 <Ampera> Nothing\, not for me. I am not a person that can be cured.
05:31 <Nothing\> aye, i know that feeling
05:42 <Nothing\> not not, no
05:50 <Nothing\> but who's to say what the future will bring
05:58 <Ampera> There have been millions before me that could say the same thing, that they never had a cure, and never would.
06:07 <Nothing\> maybe there will be a feasible treatment in 10, 20, 30 years, you can't say
06:32 <Ampera> Either that or we get the Futurama suicide booths
06:44 Join: steve30000 ([email protected]) to #EEVblog
06:52 <rust_collector> that sounds like a thing from japan
06:57 Quit: steve30 ([email protected]) Ping timeout: 121 seconds
07:13 <Nothing\> heh
07:26 <Nothing\> here they're trying to pass a law that would let people who aren't terminally ill get assisted suicide
07:45 <Ampera> I disagree with that.
07:46 <Nothing\> right now if you're not dying, you can't get assisted suicide, no matter how much pain and suffering you're in
07:51 <Ampera> well
07:57 <Ampera> eh
08:06 <Ampera> my philosophy is suicide is something that nobody can make illegal
08:12 <Ampera> and that those who commit should be truly dedicated to
08:15 <Nothing\> a lady with fibromyalgia was trying to get it and got denied because she isn't dying, even though she's in excruciating pain
08:24 <Ampera> I've said before, there would be no suicide attempt, if I intend to kill myself, it will happen.
08:56 <Nothing\> when i was a teenager i was suicidal, but as i grew older the implications of it became so much more real to me that i no longer saw it as a feasible course of action
09:28 <rust_collector> I want to make one of those marble machine things
09:35 <Ampera> The implications is I die.
09:40 <Ampera> What happens afterwards is beyond my care.
10:08 <Nothing\> about 10 years ago or so i was having a breakdown of some sort and impulsively stuck a 4in knife into my leg right up to the handle, and ever since then the implications of suicide, self harm and stuff like that all seemed to be so much more real to me, it's hard to articulate
11:20 <Nothing\> i think a big part of it was realizing i came really close to permanently crippling myself, like if i'd hit a nerve i'd have wound up with part of my leg paralyzed and without sensation for the rest of my life, or i could have crippled myself if i hit a tendon, and i also would have required surgery to repair any such damage
11:42 <Ampera> What also sucks is, outside of rare occasions, I don't really have anyone to talk to.
11:43 <Nothing\> so thinking about that and how lucky i was that none of that happened, it really put things into perspective for me
11:59 <Ampera> I used to talk to my mom about it quite a bit, but she moved away.
12:14 <Ampera> and I don't trust my dad on an emotional level to be capable of conversation of this magnitude.
12:27 <Nothing\> yeah i'm in the same situation, though i've never liked talking to people about my problems, it just reminds me that i have said problems and makes them all the more real
12:56 <Ampera> Fuck it must be nice living in Canada knowing that, at least for the most part, if you do get injured it doesn't cripple you financially.
12:56 <Nothing\> my way for dealing with the emotions caused by a problem is to pretend they don't exist until i'm able to remedy them
13:16 <Nothing\> yeah, the only bill i got was $45 for the ambulance lol
13:23 <Ampera> The issue is whenever I'm on the internet, whenever I go out in public, whenever I simply see a woman, I am reminded of it.
13:45 <Nothing\> but yeah with being in the ER dozens of times, i would have been ruined several times over
13:49 <Ampera> Yeah my dad paid hundreds of dollars for my hospital visit for an allergic reaction
13:55 <Ampera> that was with insurance.
14:18 <Ampera> I'm very glad that union electricians get fucking stellar healthcare packages.
14:19 <Nothing\> anyways, i should go get some lunch
14:26 <Ampera> Alright.
14:35 <Ampera> Have a good day, Nothing\.
14:37 <Nothing\> it was nice talking with you Ampera, i'm glad you could at least get some stuff out
14:45 <Ampera> Aye.
14:47 <Nothing\> yeah you too man, take care of yourself <3
15:03 <Nothing\> and if i don't see you beforehand, have a good christmas
15:26 Quit: Nothing\ ([email protected]) Quit: Leaving
46:01 <T3sl4> Halcyon: https://i.imgur.com/Qa6teIZ.jpg
05:39 <Ysjoelfir> How sweet is that :D
23:40 Join: Halcyon_ ([email protected]) to #EEVblog
23:40 Quit: Halcyon ([email protected]) EOF from client
23:46 Nick: Halcyon_ is now known as Halcyon
23:55 Quit: Halcyon ([email protected]) Quit: Leaving
24:08 Join: Halcyon ([email protected]) to #EEVblog
30:19 <Halcyon> Hey Ampera
31:20 <T3sl4> (5:08:56 PM) Ampera: well I think I might do a nap
31:27 <Halcyon> Poop
31:28 <T3sl4> (about uh, 20 mins ago)
10:57 Quit: Chipguy ([email protected]) Quit: Connection closed by foreign host
42:57 <steve30000> hi Halcyon
49:41 * Ampera sneezes violently at Halcyon 
10:37 * DogWomble hands Ampera a tissue
10:54 <DogWomble> will you need a mop and bucket of water to clean it off the walls?
13:18 Quit: arekm ([email protected]) Ping timeout: 121 seconds
13:29 Join: arekm ([email protected]) to #EEVblog
54:12 <Ampera> DogWomble, sounds like a perfectly good way to ruin a wall
58:30 Quit: Ysjoelfir ([email protected]) Quit: Going offline, see ya! (www.adiirc.com)
07:08 <steve30000> Well, to say I've been up since 10am, I'm not very sleepy
36:38 Quit: RicBent ([email protected]) Ping timeout: 121 seconds
28:32 * Ampera sneezes a signal flare at Halcyon 
06:12 Join: ThunderSqueak ([email protected]) to #EEVblog
06:12 Mode: (by ChanOP) +o ThunderSqueak
47:52 <Halcyon> Hey Ampera
48:45 <Halcyon> Can you tell me if those files finished transferring. I had to reboot my PC. You should have 170 files @ 72.3 GB in total
49:18 <Ampera> I have them all.
49:29 <Halcyon> Perfect
49:42 <Halcyon> I couldn't see the display so I didn't know if they finished
50:07 <Ampera> also you and your damn h.265
50:08 <Ampera> >:(
50:35 <Halcyon> I didn't encode them
50:46 <Halcyon> However they were the only HD copies I could find. I also have the original DVDs
50:58 <Ampera> Whenever I get to it I'm going to remux them because they still have their original (pirated) titles in metadata
51:04 <Ampera> which is something I don't really like keeping around
51:16 <Halcyon> Also, I got this error from your mail server a few hours ago: The recipient server did not accept our requests to connect. Learn more at https://support.google.com/mail/answer/7720 [mail.amperaa.net. 100.4.199.102: FAILED_PRECONDITION: connect error (111): Connection refused]
51:24 <Ampera> Yeah it's offline.
51:28 <Halcyon> Right
52:01 <Ampera> I am still working on getting dovecot working, which is being a massive massive pain in the ass.
52:13 <Ampera> five thousand fucking config variables.
52:24 <Halcyon> Joy
53:11 <Ampera> I did actually figure out I can set up, though I have to write some code, a cheap backup MX via Amazon's AWS
53:31 <Halcyon> Fair enough
53:51 <Ampera> Did you end up getting my reply?
53:56 <Ampera> er
53:56 <Ampera> email
53:59 <Ampera> you did nvm
54:03 <Halcyon> *nod*
54:09 <Ampera> I didn't get yours because my mail queue was all sorts of broken
54:16 <Ampera> er no it was my aliases database.
54:57 <Halcyon> Also strangely, my upload speed got faster as time went on
55:08 <Halcyon> It seems like there is some weird international shaping going on
01:08 <Halcyon> Ampera, feel like a game of golf?
01:43 <Ampera> I'm doing a lot of IRC chatting at the moment maybe in a bit.
01:50 <Ampera> I'm legit in like 4 conversations at once
02:12 <Halcyon> Alrighty
05:32 <Ampera> Was just talking to ThunderSqueak in AfterNET about me being an indecisive moron :P
05:38 <Ampera> oh well at least she's fun to talk to
06:42 <Halcyon> :) She is indeed
06:59 <Ampera> Discord call? I seem to have driven all the people I was talking to away
07:22 <Ampera> except you because you seem to not know about the concept of stranger danger
08:43 <Ampera> Halcyon,
25:27 <Halcyon> Yessum?
25:39 <Halcyon> Yep, after my game of golf
25:42 <Halcyon> 4 more holes to go
31:34 * Halcyon mews at Ampera
31:40 * Ampera sneezes at Halcyon 
31:54 <Ampera> Discord?
32:02 <Halcyon> I will have to go fetch my phone
32:08 <Ampera> you can't do it on your desktop?
32:15 <Halcyon> My mic is at work at the moment
32:25 <Ampera> you don't have any other?
32:28 <Halcyon> Nope
32:42 <Ampera> blech
32:44 <Halcyon> Well I have my phone headset but the cable doesn't reach to the tower on the floor
32:53 <Ampera> closets full of retro tat, but not a single microphone
32:53 <Halcyon> Else we can just talk here? :)
32:55 <Ampera> I'll have to send you one
33:05 <Halcyon> Oh actually, I do, you just reminded me
33:10 <Ampera> Will the headset reach your phone?
33:14 <Ampera> lol
33:18 <Halcyon> I have some old Apple mics that came with the Macintosh
33:27 <Halcyon> No idea how good they are, I'll go fetch one
33:29 <Ampera> That's at least 50% telephony grade
55:22 Join: hsn93 ([email protected]) to #EEVblog
38:27 <Halcyon> Back
38:48 * Halcyon licks Ampera
38:56 * Ampera dribbles on Halcyon 
39:10 * Ampera goes for the slam spunk.
41:58 <Halcyon> :)
42:01 <Halcyon> What you doing?
42:39 <Ampera> drugs
43:27 <Ampera> Your friends left pretty fast
43:38 <Halcyon> Oh they stayed overnight, they just popped out for a short while
43:46 <Halcyon> They are heading home now
45:14 <Ampera> Halcyon, it's currently -11 out
45:19 <Halcyon> Yuck
45:47 <Ampera> I'm tempted to slice up a pineapple
46:07 <Halcyon> And grill/BBQ it?
46:08 <Halcyon> :)
46:14 <Ampera> ew no
46:17 <Ampera> cooked pineapple is trash
46:22 <Halcyon> You're trash
46:27 <Ampera> I know
46:31 <Ampera> it's why I contemplate suicide
47:45 * Ampera hugs Halcyon and tries not to cry
47:54 <Halcyon> Awww
47:59 <Halcyon> *cuddles*
54:35 * Ampera gets out his sharp sharp knife, and starts slicing
54:39 <Halcyon> Nooo
54:52 <Halcyon> I want to meet you properly first
09:55 <Ampera> Halcyon, you may as well flip a coin for that one
09:58 <Ampera> who knows if I'll be around then
10:05 <Ampera> as for that, I meant I was going to go and slice up the pineapple
10:57 <Halcyon> I am making fish for dinner
11:15 <Halcyon> Except Mark is having chicken kiev because he doesn't eat fish
11:25 <Ampera> Halcyon, https://i.redd.it/hxdynrg2f3641.jpg
11:39 <Halcyon> Heh
11:56 <Halcyon> Your toasters aren't grounded?
12:28 <Ampera> nope
12:35 <Halcyon> O... K....
12:45 <Halcyon> Safe :)
22:01 <Ampera> Most of them don't have RCDs on them either, Halcyon
22:16 <Halcyon> You Americans
22:56 <Ampera> Halcyon, it's how I plan to go though
23:26 <Ampera> saltwater on each hand, half-seat a 240v30a plug, no RCD, one hand on live, the other on ground
23:29 <Ampera> *neutral
23:34 <Ampera> straight through the heart
24:10 <Halcyon> I'll miss you :(
24:27 <Ampera> why would I care
24:31 <Ampera> I'll be dead and much happier
24:44 <Halcyon> I didn't say you had to care. Was just telling you how I feel.
26:48 <Ampera> your pain would be temporary, mine would be for the rest of my life.
28:55 <Halcyon> Perhaps
29:05 <Halcyon> I guess I just hold onto hope that one day you will stop feeling like this
29:12 <Halcyon> And actually enjoy life
29:13 <Ampera> lol
29:17 <Ampera> LOL
29:25 <Halcyon> No, seriously.
29:30 <Ampera> That's the funniest thing I've heard all day.
29:34 <Ampera> I genuinely laughed at that.
29:36 <Halcyon> Mmhmm
30:11 <Ampera> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gaHgHrCwQBA
30:35 <Halcyon> You and your old people music
30:48 <Halcyon> I might start watching Hogan's Heroes from the start
30:51 <Halcyon> It's been a while
31:06 <Ampera> Halcyon, at least listen to this one proper: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g9TVjSE6pDQ
31:07 <Ampera> it's very good
31:20 <Halcyon> I'll have to look it up, it doesn't play here
31:26 <Ampera> uh
31:34 <Ampera> let me SFTP it to you
31:36 <Halcyon> Actually it just says "Video unavailable"
31:43 <Ampera> yeah that's YouTube music stuff
31:49 <Ampera> sometimes it's US only
31:59 <Halcyon> I have Spotify and TIDAL
32:02 <Halcyon> I can look it up on that
32:30 <Ampera> Well it's Dion - Runaway Girl
32:39 <Halcyon> *nod*
32:46 <Ampera> It's on my SFTP share if you want it
34:20 <Halcyon> It's OK, TIDAL has it
34:28 <Halcyon> Listening to it now
36:10 <Ampera> I'm not sure what genre it'd be. Dion, at least at this point, was known for doo-wop
36:17 <Ampera> but this is sort of kinda not doo-wop
36:59 <Halcyon> Mmm yeh, it's a nice song
37:18 <Ampera> Dion has become one of my favourite singers.
38:31 <Ampera> I have 11 Dion / and the Belmonts songs in my collection right now.
40:30 <Halcyon> :)
40:36 <Halcyon> Not my style but I can appreciate it
44:51 * Halcyon plays with Amperas hair
47:28 <Ampera> Halcyon, what hair
47:39 <Halcyon> Your head hair you grub
47:46 <Ampera> don't have much of it to play with
47:53 <Halcyon> You aren't bald
47:58 <Ampera> I'm not flowing either
48:03 <Halcyon> You don't have to be
48:09 <Ampera> I never said I did.
48:15 <Halcyon> Quit bitching then
48:19 <Ampera> make me
48:22 <Halcyon> No
48:34 <Ampera> fine then I'll make me
48:45 <Ampera> er
48:52 <Ampera> too lazy to op myself so I can kick you so chanop can ban me
48:56 <Ampera> so pretend I did and it was funny
49:05 <Halcyon> I want an Acorn Archemedes
49:16 * Ampera StrongARMs Halcyon into buying one
49:16 <DogWomble> i wouldn't mind one of thois
49:23 <DogWomble> i already have the BBC Micros
49:40 <Halcyon> After the silly season DogWomble, I need to order your caps
49:40 <DogWomble> you can import them from the UK, but the cost of doing so is fairly prohibitivew
50:35 <Ampera> I want some Unix workstation of some sort
50:43 <Halcyon> Yeh that would be neat too
50:44 <Ampera> Not too picky about what I'd have, so long as it were cheap.
50:52 <Halcyon> Like a Sun machine?
51:15 <Ampera> I'd actually love an ULTRIX box
51:46 <Ampera> something something MicroVAX/VAXStation something something DEC something something
51:47 <Halcyon> :)
51:50 <Halcyon> Yup
51:56 <Halcyon> Mmmm DECstation :)
52:16 <Ampera> LSI/VLSI PDP-11 is on my bucket list no doubt
52:41 <Ampera> Unibus PDP-11 TTL would be an absolute holy grail though
53:12 <Halcyon> Yep
53:29 <Halcyon> We have an old impact printer at work the size of a washing machine
53:31 <Halcyon> I want it
53:34 <Ampera> maybe an 11/70
53:42 <Ampera> Impact line printer?
53:44 <Halcyon> Yah
53:52 <Ampera> Those can do some stupid fast prints.
54:04 <Ampera> They'll make toner printers look like daisy wheels.
54:09 <Halcyon> It used to be connected to our mainframe (which still exists on more modern hardware)
54:22 <Halcyon> It now sits in a shredding room
54:25 <Ampera> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/PDP-11#/media/File:Pdp-11-70-panel.jpg Wouldn't you just love something like this to play with though
54:26 <Halcyon> Doing nothing
54:38 <Halcyon> Yep, looks so satisfying
55:23 <Ampera> a VAX/VAX-11 would be cool too
55:49 <Ampera> Just the idea of having some big monolithic box full of straight logic gets me wet and moist.
55:56 <Halcyon> I still need to find me a MO Drive to suit these disks I have
57:34 <Ampera> Halcyon, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/PDP-15#/media/File:PDP-15_graphics_terminal.agr.jpg look at this thing too
03:55 <Ampera> I believe I may be a sort of musical fire
04:04 <Ampera> burning throughout an almost infinite forest of songs
04:13 <Ampera> unsure if I'll ever run out of stuff that's nice to listen to.
04:38 <Ampera> or if simply as I run out of songs from one style, my tastes evolve to enjoy another one.
05:38 <Halcyon> That's cool
06:01 <Halcyon> I know some people with a huge vintage computing collection. One which would fill a warehouse.
06:09 <Halcyon> If I had the money, I'd totally open a museum
06:25 <Ampera> Legacy computing is a hobby I definitely intend to put more money into some day
06:33 <Ampera> I genuinely do want a full DEC PDP machine of some sort.
06:38 <Halcyon> This is the sort of drive I want: https://www.ebay.com.au/itm/Olympus-Mo-Drive-Mos350e-SCSI-Drive-80/121945550217?hash=item1c64856d89:g:BzMAAOSwBahVAKVO
06:44 <Halcyon> But they are so expensive
08:19 <Ampera> Halcyon, look at this too: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/PDP-10#/media/File:PDP-10_1090.jpg
08:31 <Halcyon> Mmmm old
08:38 <Ampera> That's a CPU and 6 memory modules
08:46 <Ampera> A memory module the size of a fucking fridge
08:53 <Halcyon> Insane
09:13 <Halcyon> Considering these days you can fit 1TB on a microSD card
09:44 <Ampera> uSD cards blow my mind whenever I hold one in my hand
09:49 <Halcyon> https://www.ebay.com.au/itm/Sony-Rmo-S594-SCSI-Mo-Drive-90/121945548841?hash=item1c64856829:g:QtcAAOSwEeFVAKVD
09:52 <Halcyon> This is tempting
10:05 <Ampera> what would you even use it for
10:10 <Halcyon> Old puters
10:20 <Ampera> fuck I hate body hair
10:23 <Halcyon> I have lik 70 rewritable MO disks at my disposal
10:25 <Ampera> I'm covered in the shit and it looks disgusting
10:33 <Halcyon> Yeh I hate it too
11:09 <Ampera> I used to shave it all, gender bending and such, and it was absolutely insane
11:35 <Halcyon> Holy shit: https://www.ebay.com.au/itm/Sony-MO-Disk-Unit-RMO-S594/283082983836?hash=item41e90f899c:g:SnEAAOSwkXRbYuDN
11:36 <Halcyon> A new one
11:56 <Ampera> 200 fucking bucks
12:06 <Halcyon> I am tempted
12:08 <Ampera> for that I could build an entire legacy PC
12:17 <Ampera> Halcyon, think of it if you buy one MO drive what use is it
12:27 <Ampera> the entire point of removable media is so you have /multiple/ drives
12:34 <Halcyon> Not really
12:46 <Halcyon> I can use it in lieu of storing stuff on old (and failing) hard disk drives
12:51 <Halcyon> Plus it's a piece of history
13:08 <Ampera> do you know how slow those drives are?
13:16 <Halcyon> Yup, about 10 Mbps
13:27 <Ampera> that's not a lot
13:41 <Halcyon> I know, even MY internet is several times faster
13:50 <Ampera> not up
13:58 <Halcyon> It's about the same up :P
14:04 <Ampera> my up is over 88x faster
14:16 <Halcyon> Yes yes, this isn't a dick measuring contest
14:31 <Ampera> no it's an internet measuring contest and I am winning
14:42 <Ampera> if it was a dick measuring contest I'd win that too because my penis is uncomfortably large
14:42 <Halcyon> That's it, I'm moving to NZ
14:55 <Ampera> if you move to NZ I would not visit you
15:01 <Halcyon> Yeh so you keep saying :P I'm not worried
15:08 <Halcyon> But 10 Gbit internet
15:10 <Ampera> NZ is on my list of countries that, unless under insane incentive, I would never visit.
15:23 <Ampera> I do not consider it a free nation
15:35 <Halcyon> That and it's fucking expensive
17:24 <Halcyon> Honestly, 100 Mbps symmetrical would suit me just fine
17:28 <Halcyon> I have little need to anything more
17:35 <Halcyon> I don't think that's too much to ask for
17:48 <Ampera> That's (close to) what I used to have
18:18 <Ampera> honestly if you're moving anywhere you should move here
18:40 <Halcyon> Perhaps
18:44 <Halcyon> Never say never I suppose
18:49 <Ampera> we have excellent rights, really low taxes, fuel, energy, and water prices that are cheap as chips.
19:00 <Halcyon> What is your income tax there?
19:31 <Ampera> for what bracket
20:07 <Halcyon> $120k so say $85k in funny money
20:09 <Ampera> it caps out at 37% for all filings on incomes over 518,401USD+
20:32 <Ampera> https://smartasset.com/taxes/current-federal-income-tax-brackets
20:36 <Ampera> you can read them for yourself :P
20:52 <Halcyon> So roughly comparable. Ours is a little higher. I currently pay 32.5% for anything about $37k
21:10 <Halcyon> It's 37% up to $180k and 45% anything thereafter.
21:15 <Ampera> huh?
21:22 <Halcyon> https://www.ato.gov.au/Rates/Individual-income-tax-rates/
21:28 <Ampera> that same bracket is 24% for single
21:32 <Ampera> that's not comparable
21:58 <Ampera> single (highest bracket) for 85-163k is 24%
22:04 <Ampera> this all before deductions and other tax goodies
22:16 <Halcyon> Yes but on my current pay, I think I actually pay less income tax
22:20 <Ampera> and also before other taxes, some states have state income and/or property tax.
22:40 <Halcyon> I pay nothing for the first $18,200, the most I pay is 32.5%
22:52 <Ampera> still almost 10% more
22:55 <Halcyon> (That's before deductions and offsets)
23:52 <Ampera> Well I'm closing in on the filing status of tired
23:57 <Ampera> so I think I might do a sleepy
24:00 <Halcyon> Enjoy
24:12 * Halcyon cuddles Ampera
24:23 * Halcyon smacks T3sl4 on the ass and runs away
28:29 Quit: DogWomble ([email protected]) EOF from client
42:09 Join: DogWomble ([email protected]) to #EEVblog
42:09 Mode: (by ChanOP) +o DogWomble
42:16 Quit: DogWomble ([email protected]) Changing hosts
42:16 Join: DogWomble ([email protected]) to #EEVblog
42:16 Mode: (by lego.jp.austnet.org) +o DogWomble
44:00 * T3sl4 pokes Halcyon
47:00 <Halcyon> :)
47:10 <Halcyon> You should join us for a game of Golfing with Friends
47:19 <T3sl4> does that need a client?
47:25 <Halcyon> It's a Steam game
50:00 <T3sl4> https://i.imgur.com/lYVCLnH.jpg
50:23 <Halcyon> Indeed
50:34 <Halcyon> So no golf?
51:37 * T3sl4 shrug
51:59 <T3sl4> you should join me for a game of doom
52:12 <Halcyon> I haven't played Doom since I was in High School
52:31 <Halcyon> But yes, that could be done. I just need to work out how I can install it on Linux
53:31 <T3sl4> i can get you the WADs, if you need em
53:38 <T3sl4> linux binaries are plentiful
53:51 <Halcyon> DogWomble: You keen on Doom ?
55:36 <DogWomble> i wouldn't mind it, though i dont' have it in my colelction
56:05 <Halcyon> T3sl4, is it the original DOS version?
56:45 <DogWomble> is it the steam version of doom?
56:48 <DogWomble> or the original?
57:02 <Halcyon> *shrug*
57:10 <Halcyon> I don't know how this works with cross platform
57:11 <T3sl4> i don't know what client the steam version uses, but it has the WADs if you need them
57:31 <Halcyon> T3sl4, is the shareware version OK?
57:40 <DogWomble> aah, so this is the original DOS version?
57:59 <T3sl4> specifically, Doom II (1994)
58:12 <T3sl4> would suggest getting gzdoom
58:24 <T3sl4> the source ports are all(?) free
58:33 <Halcyon> *googles*
58:36 <T3sl4> https://zdoom.org/downloads
59:19 <Halcyon> Oh wow, that was easy
59:22 <Halcyon> Fuck I love Linux
59:27 <T3sl4> hm, i have gzdoom 3.3.2.0, better get the latest
59:28 <Halcyon> OK, where do I get the WAD files from ?
59:58 <Halcyon> Then next question, where do I put them?
00:14 <T3sl4> heh nice, they have the editing tools below also
00:27 <T3sl4> extract to your doom2 folder
00:49 <T3sl4> idunno where you want to put it on linux, root? usr/someshit?
00:51 * Halcyon tries to find where that is
01:40 <T3sl4> or if it's not there, then launch as: gzdoom -iwad /path/to/wad/doom2.wad
01:51 <T3sl4> or wait, does it have a launcher itself?
02:14 <Halcyon> Ah I should have just read the error, tells you where to put them
02:14 <Halcyon> :P
02:17 <T3sl4> well, it does, but i'm not sure that it's configured or searched for places
02:47 <T3sl4> the cfg/ini/whatever file should be plaintext too, easy to edit
02:54 <Halcyon> Alrighty, do you need to send me the WAD files?
03:23 <DogWomble> looks like the original wad files are here
03:23 <DogWomble> http://www.pc-freak.net/blog/doom-1-doom-2-doom-3-game-wad-files-for-download-playing-doom-on-debian-linux-via-freedoom-open-source-doom-engine/
03:43 <T3sl4> what is this blog lol
03:53 <T3sl4> just use this http://www.seventransistorlabs.com/doom2.wad
04:28 <T3sl4> freedoom isn't the same graphics or levels btw, but can be used to play mods if you don't mind the graphics are weird
04:47 <Halcyon> 404
05:02 <T3sl4> oh https
05:06 <T3sl4> wait
05:13 <T3sl4> try again
05:24 <Halcyon> It defaults to HTTPS and yeh, still 404
05:55 <T3sl4> uhhh, blah... lemme check mime type
06:21 * Halcyon fondles T3sl4 more aggressively the longer he takes
06:53 <T3sl4> try again
07:03 <Halcyon> That's got it
07:06 * T3sl4 cups Halcyon's enormous boobs
07:14 <Halcyon> Fuck off cunt :P
07:27 <T3sl4> haha
07:51 <T3sl4> ok now... you should be able to just run it and have it work... can set up key configs and shit
08:38 <Halcyon> Yep it's working, fuck this looks crap on my huge monitor
08:53 <T3sl4> yeah may want windowed, and an ok res
09:51 <T3sl4> lemme start a server too, and then uh... forward a port probably, and that should do it? in fact, don't even need to give you my ip, the domain should work
11:43 <Halcyon> Oh that's better
11:55 <Halcyon> How you going DogWomble ?
12:15 <DogWomble> ok got mine at least loading
12:27 <T3sl4> i gotta kick my router in the pants, brb
13:40 Join: T3sl41 ([email protected]) to #EEVblog
13:51 Mode: (by ChanOP) +o T3sl41
13:59 <Halcyon> I think I'm ready to go
15:18 <Halcyon> Oh wow, I really suck at this
16:24 <DogWomble> i'm kinda expecting to be terrible
16:30 Quit: T3sl4 ([email protected]) Ping timeout: 121 seconds
16:34 <Halcyon> I just died in like 30 seconds
16:43 Nick: T3sl41 is now known as T3sl4
17:02 <T3sl4> that's okay, we can play coop :P
17:06 <T3sl4> so, 3 players is it?
17:11 <DogWomble> i'll give it a go
17:12 <Halcyon> Seems that wqay
17:14 <Halcyon> way
17:26 <Halcyon> I'm going to let Mark go first
17:28 <DogWomble> just need the adddress to connect to
19:55 Join: T3sl41 ([email protected]) to #EEVblog
19:57 Mode: (by ChanOP) +o T3sl41
20:50 <T3sl41> try connecting to my domain
21:16 <T3sl41> gzdoom -join www.seventransistorlabs.com
21:55 <T3sl41> oh one sec
22:09 <Halcyon> Now you tell me
22:13 Quit: T3sl4 ([email protected]) Ping timeout: 121 seconds
22:17 <T3sl41> gzdoom -join www.seventransistorlabs.com:10666
22:34 <T3sl41> got one
22:38 Nick: T3sl41 is now known as T3sl4
22:56 <Halcyon> That's me
23:50 <Halcyon> Standby, something isn't working
24:02 <DogWomble> yeah, itconjnected then loaded t oa big black nothing
24:09 <Halcyon> Yeh that's all I got
24:29 <T3sl4> yeah it says waiting
24:45 <T3sl4> you shouldn't need ports open, i don't think
24:58 <T3sl4> not sure how it would connect but not
25:14 <Halcyon> T3sl4, how about a game of CAH instead?
25:30 <T3sl4> that doesn't kill anyone :P
25:38 <Halcyon> :P
25:49 <T3sl4> is there anyone else for CAH?
26:31 <Halcyon> 3 of us? Unless damian, ibiza or gremlinz wants to play?
26:39 <DogWomble> yeah, i'm happy to set up a game
26:55 <Halcyon> T3sl4, you in?
27:06 <T3sl4> also, should we (I?) get on discord?
27:11 <Halcyon> Yes
27:13 <Halcyon> Ideally
27:14 <DogWomble> we can do that
27:20 <DogWomble> i think you have access to my server already T3sl4
27:47 <T3sl4> ye
28:52 <T3sl4> i never configured ptt :P
33:31 <Halcyon> Ampera, you happen to be awake?
33:54 <Halcyon> Or ThunderSqueak ?
39:13 <ThunderSqueak> I am, why?
39:39 <ThunderSqueak> Halcyon ?
39:59 <Halcyon> Feel like a game of Cards Against Humanity and discord chat?
40:22 <ThunderSqueak> no thanks, I am about to head to bed, it is almost 1am
40:38 <T3sl4> *goodnight hugs*
40:54 <ThunderSqueak> this is the first day since surgery that I have been awake all day without a nap
41:03 <Halcyon> Awww poor thing
41:07 <Halcyon> *cuddles*
41:10 <ThunderSqueak> exhausted
41:27 <ThunderSqueak> been seriously craving milk O.o
41:48 <Halcyon> Calcium is good :)
42:41 <ThunderSqueak> yeah, apparently my body is craving it after a craniotomy
47:58 <ThunderSqueak> having a large numb area on my head is weird
50:43 <Halcyon> I'm guessing it all went well ThunderSqueak ?
52:20 <ThunderSqueak> yeah, seems to
52:29 <ThunderSqueak> been 20 days now
52:34 <ThunderSqueak> err 19 days
52:48 <EEVBlog> New EEVBlog Tweet: Xmas lights time https://t.co/KnNCN38kJJ
52:54 <ThunderSqueak> but yah, I am exhausted, so going to bed I think
53:11 * Halcyon tucks ThunderSqueak in
53:19 <ThunderSqueak> take care and sleep well when you do :)
53:58 Quit: ThunderSqueak ([email protected]) Quit: Leaving
55:49 <EEVBlog> New EEVBlog Tweet: Pretty good https://t.co/AMEg53j7O0
04:28 Quit: hsn93 ([email protected]) Ping timeout: 121 seconds
08:16 <steve30000> hi
09:39 <steve30000> I had to wake up
18:07 <rust_collector> have some coffee, and go back to bad
18:13 <rust_collector> bed, lol
42:08 Quit: K ([email protected]) Ping timeout: 121 seconds
43:23 Join: Chipguy ([email protected]) to #EEVblog
45:29 <coppice_> have a large numb area on your head might just be a sign of listening to too much BS
54:52 <rust_collector> I am going out to rescue a vw with the handbrake stuck on (again) why don't I have a large numb area on my head?
56:10 Nick: steve30000 is now known as steve30
58:36 <coppice_> rust_collector: electric handbrake?
58:42 <rust_collector> yep
00:48 <rust_collector> I think the design is ok-ish, but it has a few issues. I think they have fixed the thin plastic motot housing, that crack, and fill with water, but I think they have set the control unit to give up at a lower then needed current
01:43 <rust_collector> I mean, it is nice and simple, reasonably compact, uses off the shelf battery drill motors... it is not all bad
02:36 <rust_collector> I still hate them
06:05 <coppice_> They are nice for simplifying hill starts\
06:24 <rust_collector> ok
07:38 <rust_collector> I think they are too slow, but I guess you get used to it
09:20 <coppice_> having an automatic, I don't explicitly use the handbrake, but I never notice any slowness in the automated braking in my car
09:47 <rust_collector> good for you
10:03 Join: hsn93 ([email protected]) to #EEVblog
10:21 * T3sl4 hugs steve30
11:32 <coppice_> I'm surprised automatics don't have more problems with the handbrake fouling up, as its only used once a year during the vehicle inspection
12:04 <rust_collector> they do... not so much on these electric ones, but...
13:27 <coppice_> then handbrake was always supposed to function as an emergency brake, but the automated braking in modern cars has quietly abandoned that function and nobody seems to care
14:35 <rust_collector> right
14:48 <rust_collector> I think they abandoned that idea
16:12 <rust_collector> But before we got the electric ones, most brands moved to the tiny drum-handbrake, inside the rotor, which really was too small to do much anyway.
16:54 <rust_collector> I mean, my 50cc moped had similar brakes to a car "e-brake"
17:20 <rust_collector> better than nothing, maybe, but not by much
19:13 <rust_collector> I am not a fan of rear disk brakes at all. at least up here, no one drives fast enough to really use them, so they just sit there and rot, or get stuck
19:44 <coppice_> small brakes can do quite a lot, if you don't care how hot they get, and if its a single bring the car to a halt operation you really don't care about the heating
20:15 <rust_collector> right, but no one will replace them after stopping the car once
22:30 <coppice_> rear discs in most cars are OK, as they are always applied lightly. the problems come with the "smart" systems which only apply the read brakes above a certain pressure. a light footed driver never uses the rear brakes at all, and they normally rust up quite quickly, especially if its an Alfa Romeo
23:14 <rust_collector> brakes do not like being used lightly, that is the problem.
23:36 <coppice_> they like it a lot better than not being used at all
23:43 <rust_collector> right
23:53 Quit: steve30 ([email protected]) Quit: <Baljem> steve30: by the way, I had the most bizarre dream the other day that someone came in here and seriously flipped their shit over your quit message and why aren't the ops /doing/ something about it
24:21 <rust_collector> but as they are almost never used, and most of the time lightly, just use regular old drums
24:35 <coppice_> I don't know about now, but dealers used to tell Alfa Romeo buyers not to be too gentle with the brakes, which is a bizarre thing to have to say to people
25:09 <rust_collector> no, most brands say you should go run the shit out of your car, and brake hard every now and then
26:33 <rust_collector> but where you are has a lot to say. Like, we have issues with particle filters up here, I do not think that is much of an issue in germany
27:05 <rust_collector> we just never run the cars fast enough, for long enough to let them clean themself
27:28 <coppice_> lots of people in cities have problems with them
27:34 <rust_collector> yep
27:51 <rust_collector> also, having dealers that lie to you does not help
27:58 <coppice_> now particle filters are going into gas powered cars, so you can't escape the problem
28:30 <rust_collector> at least it is much easier to get the temps up on a gas engines
29:04 <rust_collector> it could be less problematic. But I am sure they will engineer in a way to make them fail
29:55 Join: AndrevS ([email protected]) to #EEVblog
30:18 <coppice_> they obviously don't cost much, because they didn't add massively to the cost of a car when they were introduced, but a replacement costs thousands
32:02 <rust_collector> I think that is more about the market saying a car should cost xxx when it is new, than the cost of the components. But when you buy one, you are stuck with it, and "have to" buy their parts
34:54 <rust_collector> I also like to compare the price of parts for different cars. as an example, I did look up the price for a throttle position sensor, on an old vectra2.0, and it was almost twice the price of a saab900, or 9-3 ( I don't remember) but it is the same bosch part
35:30 <rust_collector> hmm, and when the vectra died, I used it on my toyota carina, lol
36:52 <rust_collector> well, I should gather my tools, and get going
45:30 <coppice_> Vectras were nasty cars. I don't understand how they became so popular
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