#sydney - 2018-02-07 - AustNet Archive Project

// #sydney — 2018-02-07

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« 2018-02-06 2018-02-08 »
09:06 Part: mozza ([email protected]) from #sydney
19:41 Quit: HellFury ([email protected]) Quit: Bite My Shiny Metal Arse!
20:03 Join: HellFury ([email protected]) to #sydney
39:54 Quit: Sunbeam ([email protected]) Quit: We are not human beings on a spiritual journey. We are spiritual beings on a human journey.
40:19 Join: chocooo ([email protected]) to #sydney
44:18 Join: Destiny ([email protected]) to #sydney
41:31 <JedStar> Howdy all
43:01 <eddie> Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next."
43:11 <eddie> They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
43:30 <eddie> JedStar
43:33 <eddie> evening
44:00 <JedStar> Howdy all
45:00 <eddie> Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next."
46:00 <eddie> They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
46:00 <eddie> JedStar
46:00 <eddie> evening
47:35 Part: Smirnoff ([email protected]) from #sydney
51:37 <eddie> Apparently not everyone is fed up with telephone-answering machines. At the Newspaper office where I work, we have several of them for different Departments.
51:54 <eddie> However, while on the evening shift I answer the newsroom phone. I took one Call and heard a woman exclaim: "Oh! I thought I was going to get a Machine. I'll call back in the morning." And she hung up.
52:11 <eddie> A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde female neighbour came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox.
52:23 <eddie> She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back in the house.
52:36 <eddie> A little later she came out of her house again went to the mail box and again, opened it, slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.
52:48 <eddie> As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.
53:04 <eddie> Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, 'Is something wrong?'
53:19 <eddie> To which she replied, 'There certainly is!' "My stupid computer keeps saying, 'YOU'VE GOT MAIL!'
54:00 <eddie> Apparently not everyone is fed up with telephone-answering machines. At the Newspaper office where I work, we have several of them for different Departments.
54:00 <eddie> However, while on the evening shift I answer the newsroom phone. I took one Call and heard a woman exclaim: "Oh! I thought I was going to get a Machine. I'll call back in the morning." And she hung up.
55:00 <eddie> A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde female neighbour came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox.
55:00 <eddie> She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back in the house.
55:00 <eddie> A little later she came out of her house again went to the mail box and again, opened it, slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.
55:00 <eddie> As the man was getting ready  to edge the lawn, here she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.
55:00 <eddie> Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, 'Is something wrong?'
56:00 <eddie> To which she replied, 'There certainly is!'  "My stupid computer keeps saying, 'YOU'VE GOT MAIL!'
56:31 <eddie> On the first day, she sadly packed her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases.
56:42 <eddie> On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things..
57:02 <eddie> On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining-room table, by candle-light; she put on some soft background music, and feasted on a kilo of prawns, a jar of caviar,and a bottle of spring-water.
57:26 <eddie> When she'd finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten prawns dipped in caviar into the hollow centre of the curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.
57:44 <eddie> On the fourth day, the husband came back with his new girlfriend, and at first all was bliss.
58:04 <eddie> Then, slowly, the house began to smell.
58:16 <eddie> They tried everything; cleaning, mopping, and airing-out the place. Vents were checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam cleaned..
58:28 <eddie> Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which time the two had to move out for a few days, and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting. Nothing worked!
58:41 <eddie> People stopped coming over to visit. Repairmen refused to work in the house. The maid quit.
59:00 <eddie> On the first day, she sadly packed her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases.
59:00 <eddie> On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things..
59:00 <eddie> On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining-room table, by candle-light; she put on some soft background music, and feasted on a kilo of prawns, a jar of caviar,and a bottle of spring-water.
59:37 <eddie> Finally, they couldn't take the stench any longer, and decided they had to move, but a month later - even though they'd cut their price in half - they couldn't find a buyer for such a stinky house.
59:37 <eddie> Word got out, and eventually even the local realtors refused to return their calls.
00:00 <eddie> When she'd finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten prawns dipped in caviar into the hollow centre of the curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.
00:00 <eddie> On the fourth day, the husband came back with his new girlfriend, and at first all was bliss. 
00:00 <eddie> Then, slowly, the house began to smell.
00:03 <eddie> Finally, unable to wait any longer for a purchaser, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place. Then the ex-wife called the man and asked how things were going. He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely and said that she missed her old home terribly and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for having the house..
00:21 <eddie> Knowing she could have no idea how bad the smell really was, he agreed on a price that was only 1/10 th of what the house had been worth ...... but only if she would sign the papers that very day. She agreed, and within two hours his lawyers delivered the completed paperwork.
00:39 <eddie> and wait for it...................................
00:45 <eddie> A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home ....and to spite the ex-wife, they even took the the curtain rods!
00:45 <eddie> 
01:00 <eddie> They tried everything; cleaning, mopping, and airing-out the place. Vents were checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam cleaned..
01:00 <eddie> Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which time the two had to move out for a few days, and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting. Nothing worked!
01:00 <eddie> People stopped coming over to visit. Repairmen refused to work in the house. The maid quit.
02:00 <eddie> Finally, they couldn't take the stench any longer, and decided they had to move, but a month later - even though they'd cut their price in half - they couldn't find a buyer for such a stinky house.
02:00 <eddie> Word got out, and eventually even the local realtors refused to return their calls.
02:00 <eddie> Finally, unable to wait any longer for a purchaser, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place. Then the ex-wife called the man and asked how things were going. He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely and said that she missed her old home terribly and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for having the house..
02:54 <eddie> !PLACE
02:55 <StatsOP> eddie is on place #23 out of 509.
03:00 <eddie> Knowing she could have no idea how bad the smell really was, he agreed on a price that was only 1/10 th of what the house had been worth ...... but only if she would sign the papers that very day. She agreed, and within two hours his lawyers delivered the completed paperwork.
03:00 <eddie> and wait for it...................................
03:00 <eddie> A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home ....and to spite the ex-wife, they even took the the curtain rods!
03:00 <eddie>  
03:53 <eddie> !ttop20
03:53 <StatsOP> Today's Top20(words): 11. Smirnoff(2)
04:01 <eddie> !ttop10
04:04 <StatsOP> Today's Top10(words): 1. Sunbeam(901) 2. eddie(657) 3. SkyFire(521) 4. mozza(128) 5. Skirmish(19) 6. President_Trump(17) 7. Sutekh(16) 8. gionanni69(7) 9. hydrolous(4) 10. JedStar(2)
05:00 <eddie> !PLACE
05:00 <StatsOP> eddie is on place #23 out of 509.
06:00 <eddie> !ttop20
06:00 <StatsOP> Today's Top20(words): 11. Smirnoff(2)
06:00 <eddie> !ttop10
06:00 <StatsOP> Today's Top10(words): 1. Sunbeam(901) 2. eddie(657) 3. SkyFire(521) 4. mozza(128) 5. Skirmish(19) 6. President_Trump(17) 7. Sutekh(16) 8. gionanni69(7) 9. hydrolous(4) 10. JedStar(2)
08:10 <eddie> Whichaven civic leaders are flushed with pride after their toilets were Called the best in the region by the British Toilet Association. The Judges were particularly impressed by the way both political parties On the council regularly sat down together.
08:31 <eddie> Police foiled an attempted bank raid yesterday after a robber told staff He would come back to collect his money. Flying Squad officers pounced when The man returned seven hours later to pick up the cash. Detective Superintendent John Shatford said 'This operation should serve As a warning to anyone thinking of committing a robbery in this way. The Flying Squad is extremely skilled in dealing with this type of incident And can respond q
08:56 <eddie> A Radio Fivelive reporter sent to cover the retrial of the Leeds United Footballers in Hull was parking near the court when he was approached by The car park attendant. 'I suppose you're a journalist' said the attendant. 'How did you guess?' asked the reporter, impressed by the attendant's Observational skills. To which the attendant replied: 'We don't wear Sunglasses in Hull.'
09:09 <HellFury> !ttop10
09:10 <StatsOP> Today's Top10(words): 1. Sunbeam(901) 2. eddie(776) 3. SkyFire(521) 4. mozza(128) 5. Skirmish(19) 6. President_Trump(17) 7. Sutekh(16) 8. gionanni69(7) 9. hydrolous(4) 10. JedStar(2)
09:19 <eddie> Lawyers for wild-man rock star Lemmy furiously complained about a story in Last week's Sunday People about his s*x life which told how the 55 year Old Motorhead rocker handcuffed his lover to the bed for a three-day s*x And bondage session. Mr Lemmy's lawyer said "It was not three days and she was not handcuffed To the bed. It was seven days and she was hung from the ceiling." We apologise unreservedly to Mr. Lemmy for any damage to his
09:20 Part: gionanni691 ([email protected]) from #sydney
09:25 <eddie> hehe
09:39 <eddie> only doing it to upset skyfire
09:57 <eddie> Labour councilors in Reading, Berkshire are to stop asking job applicants For their academic qualifications. They say it discriminates against people who don't have any.
10:16 <eddie> Mr Clinton persuaded his old school chum Colin Bucoke to go to the police after he visited Mr. Clinton's home and asked for help in disposing of the dismembered body. Mrs. Clinton told The Herald that the experience had deeply shocked her husband. "I've never seen a man so cut up like he was".
10:58 <eddie> "As a future businessman and a student I take personal exception to the statement that business people are a group of cultural Philistines. The reason why some of us have not yet got around to reading Anna Karenina may simply be because some of us don't like Dickens."
11:00 <eddie> Whichaven civic leaders are flushed with pride after their toilets were Called the best in the region by the British Toilet Association. The Judges were particularly impressed by the way both political parties On the council regularly sat down together. 
11:00 <eddie> Police foiled an attempted bank raid yesterday after a robber told staff He would come back to collect his money. Flying Squad officers pounced when The man returned seven hours later to pick up the cash. Detective Superintendent John Shatford said 'This operation should serve As a warning to anyone thinking of committing a robbery in this way. The Flying Squad is extremely skilled in dealing with this type of incident And can respond quickly, as this operat
11:00 <eddie> A Radio Fivelive reporter sent to cover the retrial of the Leeds United Footballers in Hull was parking near the court when he was approached by The car park attendant. 'I suppose you're a journalist' said the attendant. 'How did you guess?' asked the reporter, impressed by the attendant's Observational skills. To which the attendant replied: 'We don't wear Sunglasses in Hull.' 
11:22 <eddie> A man is suing police in Connecticut after he was refused entry to the force because he was too clever. Norbert Johnson's IQ score of 125 was deemed too high for the police who said that smart people get bored and leave.
11:41 <eddie> "During the reindeer season we take the convicts out hunting, even the murderers" said Tourbe Thrue, head of the correctional institution in Lourke. "Obviously we don't take the mentally unstable" he said. "they have to go fishing".
12:00 <HellFury> !ttop10
12:00 <StatsOP> Today's Top10(words): 1. Sunbeam(901) 2. eddie(776) 3. SkyFire(521) 4. mozza(128) 5. Skirmish(19) 6. President_Trump(17) 7. Sutekh(16) 8. gionanni69(7) 9. hydrolous(4) 10. JedStar(2)
12:00 <eddie> Lawyers for wild-man rock star Lemmy furiously complained about a story in Last week's Sunday People about his s*x life which told how the 55 year Old Motorhead rocker handcuffed his lover to the bed for a three-day s*x And bondage session. Mr Lemmy's lawyer said "It was not three days and she was not handcuffed To the bed. It was seven days and she was hung from the ceiling." We apologise unreservedly to Mr. Lemmy for any damage to his reputation.
12:00 <eddie> hehe 
12:00 <eddie> only doing it to upset skyfire
12:00 <eddie> Labour councilors in Reading, Berkshire are to stop asking job applicants For their academic qualifications. They say it discriminates against people who don't have any.
12:24 <eddie> Madam, I wholeheartedly endorse the views of Ian David Burrell on the financial state of the farming industry and his response to the letter from Mrs. Angela Gavett. Mrs. Gavett has great difficulty in grasping fundamental economic Principles. I base this statement on my many years experience as an Accountant, and on the fact that I am married to her.
12:53 <eddie> "I have promised to keep his identity confidential" said Jack Maxims, spokesman for the Sandon Sun Hotel in Johannesburg, "but I can confirm that he is no longer in our employment. When we asked him to clean the lifts he Spent four days on the job. When I asked him why he replied 'Well there are 40 of them, two on each floor, sometimes some of them aren't there."
13:00 <eddie> Mr Clinton persuaded his old school chum Colin Bucoke to go to the police after he visited Mr. Clinton's home and asked for help in disposing of the dismembered body. Mrs. Clinton told The Herald that the experience had deeply shocked her husband. "I've never seen a man so cut up like he was".
13:00 <eddie> "As a future businessman and a student I take personal exception to the statement that business people are a group of cultural Philistines. The reason why some of us have not yet got around to reading Anna Karenina may simply be because some of us don't like Dickens."
13:47 <eddie> Speaking at the European Parliament a French delegate suggested that the milk product crisis was best left to the common sense of the farmers in Normandy. He declared "La problem sa resolu par la sagesse Normandie" The interpreter duly translated this as 'The problem will be solved by Norman Wisdom'.
14:00 <eddie> A man is suing police in Connecticut after he was refused entry to the force because he was too clever. Norbert Johnson's IQ score of 125 was deemed too high for the police who said that smart people get bored and leave. 
14:00 <eddie> "During the reindeer season we take the convicts out hunting, even the murderers" said Tourbe Thrue, head of the correctional institution in Lourke. "Obviously we don't take the mentally unstable" he said. "they have to go fishing".
15:00 <eddie> Madam, I wholeheartedly endorse the views of Ian David Burrell on the financial state of the farming industry and his response to the letter from Mrs. Angela Gavett. Mrs. Gavett has great difficulty in grasping fundamental economic Principles. I base this statement on my many years experience as an Accountant, and on the fact that I am married to her.
15:00 <eddie> "I have promised to keep his identity confidential" said Jack Maxims, spokesman for the Sandon Sun Hotel in Johannesburg, "but I can confirm that he is no longer in our employment. When we asked him to clean the lifts he Spent four days on the job. When I asked him why he replied 'Well there are 40 of them, two on each floor, sometimes some of them aren't there."
15:10 <eddie> Carlisle chiropodist Lisa Gobel will put her best foot forward for a good cause later this year by walking along a 70-mile stretch along the ancient Great Wall of China. "It's certainly going to be a challenge," said Miss Gobel, 32, "I've been told there are parts of the wall which are nearly vertical".
16:00 <eddie> Speaking at the European Parliament a French delegate suggested that the milk product crisis was best left to the common sense of the farmers in Normandy. He declared "La problem sa resolu par la sagesse Normandie" The interpreter duly translated this as 'The problem will be solved by Norman Wisdom'.
18:00 <eddie> Carlisle chiropodist Lisa Gobel will put her best foot forward for a good cause later this year by walking along a 70-mile stretch along the ancient Great Wall of China. "It's certainly going to be a challenge," said Miss Gobel, 32, "I've been told there are parts of the wall which are nearly vertical".
23:26 <eddie> A man once counseled his son that if he wanted to live a long life, the Secret was to sprinkle a little gunpowder on his corn flakes every morning.
23:29 Part: chocooo ([email protected]) from #sydney
23:42 <eddie> The son did this religiously, and he lived to the age of 93.
23:52 <eddie> When he died, he left 14 children, 28 grandchildren, 35 Great-grandchildren, and a 5 metre hole in the wall of the crematorium.
23:52 <eddie> 
25:19 <eddie> Grandpa and Grandpa were sitting in their porch rockers watching the Beautiful sunset and reminiscing about "the good old days," when Grandma Turned to Grandpa and said, "Honey, do you remember when we first started Dating and you used to just casually reach over and take my hand?" Grandpa Looked over at her, smiled and obligingly took her aged hand in his.
25:29 <eddie> With a wry little smile, Grandma pressed a little farther, "Honey, do you Remember how after we were engaged, you'd sometimes lean over and suddenly Kiss me on the cheek?" Grandpa leaned slowly toward Grandma and gave her a lingering kiss on her wrinkled cheek.
25:46 <eddie> Growing bolder still, Grandma said, "Honey, do you remember how, after we Were first married, you'd kind of nibble on my ear?"
25:56 <eddie> Grandpa slowly got up from his rocker and headed into the house. Alarmed, Grandma said, "Honey, where are you going?"
26:00 <eddie> A man once counseled his son that if he wanted to live a long life, the Secret was to sprinkle a little gunpowder on his corn flakes every morning.
26:00 <eddie> The son did this religiously, and he lived to the age of 93.
26:00 <eddie> When he died, he left 14 children, 28 grandchildren, 35 Great-grandchildren, and a 5 metre hole in the wall of the crematorium.
26:00 <eddie>  
26:21 <eddie> Ó
26:25 <eddie> Grandpa replied, "To get my teeth!
26:29 <eddie> bah
26:31 <eddie> ..
27:16 <eddie> A man went to the police station wishing to speak with the burglar who had Broken into his house the night before.
27:17 <eddie> "You'll get your chance in court," the desk sergeant told him.
27:39 <eddie> "No, no, no!" replied the man. "I want to know how he got into the house Without waking my wife. I've been trying to do that for years!"
28:00 <eddie> Grandpa and Grandpa were sitting in their porch rockers watching the Beautiful sunset and reminiscing about "the good old days," when Grandma Turned to Grandpa and said, "Honey, do you remember when we first started Dating and you used to just casually reach over and take my hand?" Grandpa Looked over at her, smiled and obligingly took her aged hand in his.
28:00 <eddie> With a wry little smile, Grandma pressed a little farther, "Honey, do you Remember how after we were engaged, you'd sometimes lean over and suddenly Kiss me on the cheek?"  Grandpa leaned slowly toward Grandma and gave her a lingering kiss on her wrinkled cheek.
28:00 <eddie> Growing bolder still, Grandma said, "Honey, do you remember how, after we Were first married, you'd kind of nibble on my ear?"
28:00 <eddie> Grandpa slowly got up from his rocker and headed into the house. Alarmed, Grandma said, "Honey, where are you going?"
29:00 <eddie> Ó
29:00 <eddie> Grandpa replied, "To get my teeth!
29:00 <eddie> bah
29:00 <eddie> ..
30:00 <eddie> A man went to the police station wishing to speak with the burglar who had Broken into his house the night before.
30:00 <eddie> "You'll get your chance in court," the desk sergeant told him.
30:00 <eddie> "No, no, no!" replied the man. "I want to know how he got into the house Without waking my wife. I've been trying to do that for years!"
33:04 <eddie> Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, 'Why is the bride dressed in white?'' The mother replied, 'Because white is the colour of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life.' The child thought about this for a moment then said, 'So why is the groom wearing
33:05 <eddie> black?'
33:31 <eddie> Three boys are in the school yard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, 'My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him £50.' The second boy says, 'That's nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him £100.' The third boy says, 'I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it ! a sermon, and it takes eight peo
35:00 <eddie> Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, 'Why is the bride dressed in white?'' The mother replied, 'Because white is the colour of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life.' The child thought about this for a moment then said, 'So why is the groom wearing 
35:00 <eddie> black?' 
36:00 <eddie> Three boys are in the school yard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, 'My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him £50.' The second boy says, 'That's nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him £100.' The third boy says, 'I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it ! a sermon, and it takes eight people to collect all the
40:45 <eddie> An elderly woman died last month. Having never married , she requested no male pallbearers. In her handwritten instructions for her memorial service, she wrote, 'They wouldn't take me out while I was alive, I don't want them to take me out when I'm dead.'
41:05 <eddie> A police recruit was asked during the exam, 'What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?' He answered, 'Call for backup.'
41:55 <eddie> A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem . A small child replied, 'They couldn't get a baby-sitter.'
42:33 <eddie> A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to 'Honour thy father and thy mother,' she asked, 'Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?' Without missing a beat, one little boy answered, 'Thou shall not kill.'
43:00 <eddie> An elderly woman died last month. Having never  married , she requested no male pallbearers. In her handwritten instructions for her memorial service, she wrote, 'They wouldn't take me out while I was alive, I don't want them to take me out when I'm dead.'
43:00 <eddie> A police recruit was asked during the exam, 'What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?' He answered, 'Call for backup.' 
43:35 <eddie> ..
44:00 <eddie> A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem . A small child replied, 'They couldn't get a baby-sitter.' 
44:16 <eddie> At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings. Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs. Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and she said, 'Johnny, what is the matter?' Little Johnny responded, 'I have pain in my side. I think I'm going to have a wife.'
44:34 <eddie> Two boys were walking home from Sunday school after hearing a strong preaching on the devil. One said to the other, 'What do you think about all this Satan stuff?' The other boy replied, 'Well, you know how Santa Clause turned out. It's probably just your Dad.'
45:00 <eddie> A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to 'Honour thy father and thy mother,' she asked, 'Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?' Without missing a beat, one little boy answered, 'Thou shall not kill.'
46:00 <eddie> ..
46:38 <eddie> umm
47:00 <eddie> At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings. Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs. Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and she said, 'Johnny, what is the matter?' Little Johnny responded, 'I have pain in my side. I think I'm going to have a wife.'
47:00 <eddie> Two boys were walking home from Sunday school after hearing a strong preaching on the devil. One said to the other, 'What do you think about all this Satan stuff?' The other boy replied, 'Well, you know how Santa Clause turned out. It's probably just your Dad.' 
47:05 <eddie> might have to go to bed soon, the pills are kicking in... wooo hoo
47:08 <eddie> !place
47:09 <StatsOP> eddie is on place #23 out of 509.
47:15 <eddie> dammn
47:23 <eddie> !ttop10
47:25 <StatsOP> Today's Top10(words): 1. eddie(1565) 2. Sunbeam(901) 3. SkyFire(521) 4. mozza(128) 5. Skirmish(19) 6. President_Trump(17) 7. Sutekh(16) 8. gionanni69(7) 9. hydrolous(4) 10. JedStar(2)
49:00 <eddie> umm
49:00 <eddie> might have to go to bed soon, the pills are kicking in... wooo hoo
50:00 <eddie> !place
50:00 <StatsOP> eddie is on place #23 out of 509.
50:00 <eddie> dammn 
50:00 <eddie> !ttop10
50:00 <StatsOP> Today's Top10(words): 1. eddie(1565) 2. Sunbeam(901) 3. SkyFire(521) 4. mozza(128) 5. Skirmish(19) 6. President_Trump(17) 7. Sutekh(16) 8. gionanni69(7) 9. hydrolous(4) 10. JedStar(2)
50:06 <eddie> While in China , a man is sexually promiscuous and does not use a condom all the time. A week after arriving back home, he wakes one morning to find his penis covered with bright green and purple spots. Horrified, he immediately goes to see a doctor. The doctor, never having seen anything like this before, orders some tests and tells the man to return in two days for the results.
50:30 <eddie> The man returns a couple of days later and the doctor says: 'I've got bad news for you, you've contracted Mongolian VD. It's very rare and almost unheard of here. We know very little about it.' The man looks a little perplexed and says: 'Well, give me a shot or something and fix me up, Doc.' The doctor answers: 'I'm sorry, there's no known cure. We're going to have to amputate your penis.' The man screams in horror, 'Absolutely not! I w
50:47 <eddie> The next day, the man seeks out a Chinese doctor, figuring that he'll know more about the disease. The Chinese doctor examines his penis and proclaims: 'Ah, yes, Mongolian VD. Vely lare disease.' The guy says to the doctor: 'Yeah, yeah, I already know that, but what can we do? My American doctor wants to operate and amputate my penis!' The Chinese doctor shakes his head and laughs: 'Stupid Amelican docta, always want to opelate. Make mo
50:54 * eddie giggles...
51:04 <eddie> 'Yes,' says the Chinese doctor, 'You no worry! Wait two weeks. Faw off by itself!'
51:43 <HellFury> !ttop10
51:44 <StatsOP> Today's Top10(words): 1. eddie(1721) 2. Sunbeam(901) 3. SkyFire(521) 4. mozza(128) 5. Skirmish(19) 6. President_Trump(17) 7. Sutekh(16) 8. gionanni69(7) 9. hydrolous(4) 10. JedStar(2)
51:52 <HellFury> lolol you having fun
51:59 <eddie> that will upset Skyfire :)
52:01 <eddie> yep
52:11 <eddie> Every day, a male employee walks up very close to a female co-worker at the coffee machine. He stops, inhales quite deeply and says that her hair smells nice. After a week of this, the woman can't stand it anymore. She takes her issue to a supervisor in Human Resources and asks to file a sexual harassment grievance against the guy.
52:15 <HellFury> hahaa
52:23 <eddie> The supervisor is puzzled and asks, "What's threatening about a co-worker telling you your hair smells nice?"
52:37 <eddie> wait for it..
52:42 * eddie falls over
52:44 <eddie> "It's Frank. The midget."
53:00 <eddie> While in China , a man is sexually promiscuous and does not use a condom all the time. A week after arriving back home, he wakes one morning to find his penis covered with bright green and purple spots. Horrified, he immediately goes to see a doctor. The doctor, never having seen anything like this before, orders some tests and tells the man to return in two days for the results.
53:00 <eddie> The man returns a couple of days later and the doctor says: 'I've got bad news for you, you've contracted Mongolian VD. It's very rare and almost unheard of here. We know very little about it.' The man looks a little perplexed and says: 'Well, give me a shot or something and fix me up, Doc.' The doctor answers: 'I'm sorry, there's no known cure. We're going to have to amputate your penis.' The man screams in horror, 'Absolutely not! I want a second opinion.'
53:00 <eddie> The next day, the man seeks out a Chinese doctor, figuring that he'll know more about the disease. The Chinese doctor examines his penis and proclaims: 'Ah, yes, Mongolian VD. Vely lare disease.' The guy says to the doctor: 'Yeah, yeah, I already know that, but what can we do? My American doctor wants to operate and amputate my penis!' The Chinese doctor shakes his head and laughs: 'Stupid Amelican docta, always want to opelate. Make more money that way. No 
53:00 <eddie> 'Yes,' says the Chinese doctor, 'You no worry! Wait two weeks. Faw off by itself!' 
53:32 <JedStar> Yo Exo
53:34 <JedStar> eddie
53:46 <JedStar> Have a look around mate
53:47 <JedStar> :P
54:00 <HellFury> !ttop10
54:00 <StatsOP> Today's Top10(words): 1. eddie(1721) 2. Sunbeam(901) 3. SkyFire(521) 4. mozza(128) 5. Skirmish(19) 6. President_Trump(17) 7. Sutekh(16) 8. gionanni69(7) 9. hydrolous(4) 10. JedStar(2)
54:00 <HellFury> lolol you having fun
54:00 <eddie> that will upset Skyfire :)
54:00 <eddie> yep
54:01 <eddie> yer
54:06 <eddie> and ?
54:18 <JedStar> Well there might be a question posed to you
54:32 <eddie> and that would be ?
54:50 <eddie> the answer is that I am bored
55:00 <eddie> Every day, a male employee walks up very close to a female co-worker at the coffee machine.  He stops, inhales quite deeply and says that her hair smells nice. After a week of this, the woman can't stand it anymore. She takes her issue to a supervisor in Human Resources and asks to file a sexual harassment grievance against the guy.
55:00 <HellFury> hahaa
55:00 <eddie> The supervisor is puzzled and asks, "What's threatening about a co-worker telling you your hair smells nice?"
55:00 <eddie> wait for it.. 
55:00 <eddie> "It's Frank. The midget."
56:00 <JedStar> Yo Exo
56:00 <JedStar> eddie
56:00 <JedStar> Have a look around mate
56:00 <JedStar> :P
56:00 <eddie> yer 
57:00 <eddie> and ?
57:00 <JedStar> Well there might be a question posed to you
57:00 <eddie> and that would be ?
57:00 <eddie> the answer is that I am bored 
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15:42 <SkyFire> !ttop10
15:43 <StatsOP> Today's Top10(words): 1. eddie(1721) 2. Sunbeam(901) 3. SkyFire(522) 4. mozza(128) 5. JedStar(20) 6. Skirmish(19) 7. President_Trump(17) 8. Sutekh(16) 9. gionanni69(7) 10. HellFury(7)
16:08 <SkyFire> looks like eddie has been cheating again - LoL
17:02 <HellFury> or he cracked jokes til i went to bed and so did he
17:08 <HellFury> nothing wrong with it
22:33 Part: gionanni691 ([email protected]) from #sydney
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44:41 <HellFury> away [r: afk]
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57:03 <SkyFire> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j8wxV-lUsZg
57:06 <BlackDevil> Youtube: Falcon Heavy Test Flight (Feb 6, 2018) Length: 34:19 - Category: Science & Technology - 175,009 views views - 15,131 likes (99%), 153 dislikes (1%)
22:39 Part: SkyFire ([email protected]) from #sydney
34:03 Join: [[[[[pong]]]]] ([email protected]) to #sydney
34:06 * [[[[[pong]]]]] is here...
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08:23 Quit: hydrolous ([email protected]) Ping timeout: 121 seconds
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12:28 Nick: JasonBiggsFromAmericanPie is now known as BruceJenner
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43:40 <BruceJenner> Lumeah
46:00 <BruceJenner> Lumeah
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38:54 <BruceJenner> SkyFgt
41:00 <BruceJenner> SkyFgt
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50:45 <HellFury> back [r: afk] [3h6m5s]
52:30 Part: BruceJenner ([email protected]) from #sydney
53:00 <HellFury> back [r: afk] [3h6m5s]
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26:55 <SkyFire> !ttop10
26:56 <StatsOP> Today's Top10(words): 1. eddie(1721) 2. Sunbeam(901) 3. SkyFire(533) 4. mozza(128) 5. HellFury(31) 6. JedStar(20) 7. Skirmish(19) 8. President_Trump(17) 9. Sutekh(16) 10. gionanni69(7)
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29:00 <SkyFire> !ttop10
29:00 <StatsOP> Today's Top10(words): 1. eddie(1721) 2. Sunbeam(901) 3. SkyFire(533) 4. mozza(128) 5. HellFury(31) 6. JedStar(20) 7. Skirmish(19) 8. President_Trump(17) 9. Sutekh(16) 10. gionanni69(7)
31:39 <Zade> hello SkyFire
31:46 <SkyFire> hi
31:57 <Zade> whats happening?
32:04 <SkyFire> not much
32:05 <SkyFire> We don’t read and write because it’s cute. We read and write because we are members of the human race And the human race is filled with passion. Medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for. That you are here; that life exists, that the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse. What will your verse be?
32:25 <Zade> are you going to beat bozojim tonight?
32:43 <SkyFire> dobut it
32:53 <SkyFire> anyway Jim isn't even on the list
32:55 <Zade> oh ok
33:27 <SkyFire> !ttop10
33:37 <SkyFire> eddie is the one to beat
33:41 <SkyFire> time out
34:00 <Zade> hello SkyFire
34:00 <SkyFire> hi
34:00 <Zade> whats happening?
34:00 <SkyFire> not much
34:06 <Zade> you have a bit oc catching up todo
34:15 <SkyFire> yes
34:19 <SkyFire> !ttop10
34:20 <Glenn> Sheesh...talk about loading the stats!!!
34:25 <SkyFire> LoL
34:34 <SkyFire> eddie is far worse
35:00 <SkyFire> We don’t read and write because it’s cute. We read and write because we are members of the human race And the human race is filled with passion. Medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for. That you are here; that life exists, that the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse. What will your verse be?
35:00 <Zade> are you going to beat bozojim tonight?
35:00 <SkyFire> dobut it
35:00 <SkyFire> anyway Jim isn't even on the list
35:00 <Zade> oh ok 
35:03 <Glenn> eddie sleep talks :P
35:09 <SkyFire> lol yes
35:18 <SkyFire> sleep floods - lol
35:43 <Glenn> On the other hand, ^bozoim never gives up! :P
36:00 <SkyFire> !ttop10
36:00 <SkyFire> eddie is the one to beat
36:00 <SkyFire> time out
36:10 <Glenn> +j
37:00 <Zade> you have a bit oc catching up todo 
37:00 <SkyFire> yes
37:00 <SkyFire> !ttop10
37:00 <SkyFire> LoL
37:00 <SkyFire> eddie is far worse
38:00 <SkyFire> lol yes
38:00 <SkyFire> sleep floods - lol
38:09 <SkyFire> he just motor mouths along flooding the place
39:20 <Zade> hey Glenn
39:26 <Zade> melb room stat
41:00 <SkyFire> he just motor mouths along flooding the place
42:00 <Zade> melb room stat
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53:28 * [[[[[pong]]]]] is here...
54:51 <Nero> look out
54:59 <[[[[[pong]]]]]> yer
55:07 <[[[[[pong]]]]]> [[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[ pong ]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]
57:00 <Nero> look out
57:00 <[[[[[pong]]]]]> yer
58:00 <[[[[[pong]]]]]> [[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[ pong ]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]
58:57 * SkyFire throws [[[[[pong]]]]] back out the door
59:17 <[[[[[pong]]]]]> u smelly old houso
02:00 <[[[[[pong]]]]]> u smelly old houso
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38:06 Join: ItsMeLenny ([email protected]) to #sydney
38:58 Join: WhoMadeWho ([email protected]) to #sydney
39:06 <WhoMadeWho> penis
39:23 <WhoMadeWho> vulva
39:35 <WhoMadeWho> vagina
39:44 <WhoMadeWho> park the car in the garage
39:54 <WhoMadeWho> without hitting the roller door
41:00 Join: AndChat|726144 ([email protected]) to #sydney
42:00 <WhoMadeWho> penis
42:00 <WhoMadeWho> vulva
42:00 <WhoMadeWho> vagina
42:00 <WhoMadeWho> park the car in the garage
42:00 <WhoMadeWho> without hitting the roller door
42:29 Part: Lumeah ([email protected]) from #sydney
42:34 Nick: AndChat|726144 is now known as Lumeah
42:40 Quit: Lumeah ([email protected]) Changing hosts
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52:56 <Sutekh> !ttop10
52:57 <StatsOP> Today's Top10(words): 1. eddie(1721) 2. Sunbeam(901) 3. SkyFire(628) 4. mozza(128) 5. HellFury(31) 6. Zade(28) 7. JedStar(20) 8. Skirmish(19) 9. Glenn(19) 10. President_Trump(17)
55:00 <Sutekh> !ttop10
55:14 <WhoMadeWho> dung denting pelican porkers
55:49 <WhoMadeWho> cum gargling poo parrots
57:40 Part: Lumeah ([email protected]) from #sydney
58:00 <WhoMadeWho> dung denting pelican porkers
58:00 <WhoMadeWho> cum gargling poo parrots
58:41 <SkyFire> need to get rid of the 'Happy New Year
58:56 <SkyFire> don't think we need now
59:01 <SkyFire> it
59:42 Join: Lumeah ([email protected]) to #sydney
01:00 <SkyFire> need to get rid of the 'Happy New Year
01:00 <SkyFire> don't think we need now
01:00 <SkyFire> it
01:56 Nick: Lumeah is now known as Lumeah1
04:19 Part: SkyFire ([email protected]) from #sydney
13:19 Part: ItsMeLenny ([email protected]) from #sydney
19:11 <WhoMadeWho> speak
19:21 <WhoMadeWho> speak
22:00 <WhoMadeWho> speak
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33:35 <WhoMadeWho> whom in here would like to taste the pleasure that is me
34:16 <WhoMadeWho> imagine triple cream brie and salt smoothie
34:32 <WhoMadeWho> washing over your tongue
34:57 <WhoMadeWho> any takers ?
36:00 <WhoMadeWho> whom in here would like to taste the pleasure that is me
37:00 <WhoMadeWho> imagine triple cream brie and salt smoothie
37:00 <WhoMadeWho> washing over your tongue
37:00 <WhoMadeWho> any takers ?
49:00 Part: WhoMadeWho ([email protected]) from #sydney
49:07 <HellFury> despo
52:00 <HellFury> despo
00:12 <Nero> I won't like I was hoping he'd tell me where to find 'cum gargling poo parrots'
00:18 <Nero> *lie
00:58 Part: Nero ([email protected]) from #sydney
03:00 <Nero> I won't like I was hoping he'd tell me where to find 'cum gargling poo parrots'
03:00 <Nero> *lie
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13:31 <Student> Greetings
16:00 <Student> Greetings
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32:12 <President_Trump> just PIGGED DOWN 24 kfc nuggets lolloollllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll
35:00 <President_Trump> just PIGGED DOWN 24 kfc nuggets lolloollllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll
36:58 Join: ck_^ ([email protected]) to #sydney
38:09 Part: ck_^ ([email protected]) from #sydney
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